because life doesn’t fit in a file folder

Barn is Burnt Down

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Last night, I was feeling really good about the way my students’ writing is progressing. On my drive home, I noticed the moon hovering in the sky, like a giant apricot. The evening felt ripe and delicious.

I remembered a snippet of verse from the 17th century poet Mizuta Masahide.

the burn is burnt down

now

i can see the moon.

In the elevator on my way up to my apartment, I began to feel it.

My muse, kicking in, nudging me to paint from these bits of inspiration: the moon & the verse.

Over the last 4 years, there have been many losses.

Benozo withdrawal and divorce delivered serious blows resulting in enormous personal losses.

But I see it now.

How, if you just hold on, eventually things begin to change.

My health is returning, and I’m seeing the blessings that come out of the wreckage.

Like this painting stuff.

It’s still miraculous to me, this becoming who I am stuff.

So last night, I was up until 1 AM painting this:

I felt good about her, but I knew she wasn’t finished.

Something was missing.

This morning, when I looked at her, I knew exactly what needed to be done ~ and it is with this new clarity that I added a few extra touches. Do you see the difference?

It feels right, this intuitive way of painting.

These days, I apply what I learn in my painting practice to my life.

And I know this: If I’m feeling stuck, after a short break, the answer will come.

(And isn’t that always the case?)

What lessons have you learned recently?

 

 

 

 

 

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7 thoughts on “Barn is Burnt Down

  1. She is beautiful

  2. Why thank you. I’m turning my life over to the universe and going with the inspiration that is coming at me.

  3. Glad things are returning to more normal for you, Renee.

  4. Love that you are following your heart. Keep taking a step back – it does cause you to sometimes see things more clearly.

  5. I had to wait a bit to read this. I grew up on a farm. Barn burning was always a fear when hay had to be cut and baled without curing, drying in the sun. Bales of green hay mowed (pronounced like cowed) to early could spontaneously combust and take the barn and winter feed for the cows… Hmm… There is so much to this memory stirred up by the poem, which I love. Perhaps I need to take a class. Do you know a good teachers?! I love your inspiration, the moon, the poem, perhaps the sight of a barn, and the sight and insight you had to paint this lovely, moon-sparking painting!

  6. I love your art work. I’m serious thinking about making some purchases for Christmas. I also have a new grandbaby coming in January and would love a couple pieces for the baby room I will have at my house.

  7. This is lovely! I’m glad you are finding inspiration and are healing. Thank you for sharing this!

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