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Brissue

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Today I am continuing with my new feature: Made-It-Up Mondays.

I am throwing out a 100% made-up word (that I actually use in real life) and I am asking you to a) define the word, and b) then use the word in a sentence that indicates how the word could be used.

Why? Because someone recently gave me the book The Meaning of Tingo: And Other Extraordinary Words from Around the World.

For example:

“Slampadato” is an Italian word, a noun, meaning one who is addicted to the UV glow of tanning salons.

We don’t really have a word for that in English, do we?

When I can’t find the right word on the word-shelf to fit my mood or predicament, I just make one up.

When we last played this game, the word was ARBORCADE, and the person who came closest to defining the word the way I actually use the word was Brian Henke. He guessed that an arborcade was:

that well-intended planting of trees across the back of your yard that you pictured as a beautiful, well-maintained sanctuary for people and wildlife that has grown into a wild, impenetrable tangle of growth that could swallow small children and now has barricaded you from some of your favorite neighbors.

We have, in fact, planted a boat-load of trees in the back of our house in an attempt to “arborcade” ourselves off from the enormous school that looms in our backyard.

Continuing alphabetically, this week, a made-up word that I often use is:

BRISSUE

What the heck is that? When would you say it? Define it and give me a sentence in which you show me how you would use it.

You know, if it were a real word. 😉

Whoever comes closest to defining it the way I actually use it will get a mention and a link to his or her blog, if applicable.

71 thoughts on “Brissue

  1. A brother issue. If you’re still mad at your brother for ripping the head off your Barbie 30 years ago, you’ve got a brissue.

    1. Darn it! This was what I was going for. I must now return to the drawing board for an alternate definition. 😉

      1. I might actually have that going on right now, but I would be prone to call that a BROSSUE. Just saying. 😉

  2. Brissue: Any issue that can’t be resolved because you are broke. “Ah, man! I’ve got a serious brissue, the mortgage is due and my car just died.”

    1. I love that sentence so much. I can picture someone stickin’ his hands in his pockets and turning them inside out.

  3. Brissue = Brain tissue: i.e. stop hitting your brother in the head with that baseball bat, you are going to damage his brissue!

    1. Hey Cowboy! Great visual. Baseball bats and brothers go hand in hand. Or hand to head as the case may be. 😉

  4. Brissue- A bra issue. As in: Argh, my bra straps are totally twisted. I’m have a real brissue today!

    1. Love this. Nothing worse than getting all twisted up…

  5. Brissue: an ill-fitting or entanglement with a brassiere.

    *as you attempt to adjust your fallen bra strap from the outside of your blouse, you are dealing with a “brissue”.

    *you open the washing machine and all your brassieres resemble a bowl of tangled spaghetti… you have a real “brissue” at hand.

    1. Ah dang… my husband called and kept me on the phone… therefore being 2nd to post the bra issue!! 🙁 Oh well!

    2. … unless it keeps falling down. What a pain!

  6. Brissue – A swift spiritual slap upside the head. e.g. Man I’m so glad for that brissue, now I’m back on track with my head out of the gutter.

    1. Were you hit with a brick? Did it knock the spirit back into place? Realign the soul? 😉

  7. Brissue is the thin lining in the fold between the vertebrae of a bat’s wing.

    1. Is that for real? The way you say that with such authority, I kind of feel like my made up work is actually a real word. I feel like I have to check the dictionary now. 😉

      1. No I just used to be a champion Balderdash player! Hahaha!

        1. Dang, that was good! I actually went and looked it up! 😉

  8. How could any self-respecting Jew not know this? I went through it myself when the first child by my second wife was born. We couldn’t have cared less about ritual circumcision and had him “trimmed” without ceremony at the hospital. But other family members were aghast at our apparent disregard and disrespect for 5,000 years of Jewish tradition. It became a major BRISSUE.

    1. So it is a trimming of the tissue without an official moyel? The non-ceremonial way to circumcise a son? Hilarious.

      1. Since you were on my grammatical case, recently; it is MOHEL but pronounced “moyel.” (I LOVE Google. Makes me instantly brilliant–if only for an instant).

        I guess you could have a ceremonial heart transplant if you are looking for any excuse to open a bottle of cheap wine but I found “tradition” to be rather unappealing.

        1. Doh! Caught it my own grammatically incorrect spider’s web of horror.

          Just so you know, I am aware that was also an epic metaphor fail. 😉

    2. This is where my thought went first, as well.

      But then my thought went to barbecue (ugh for that transition) and a nice smoked brisket, which could be handed out, or issued, to the whole bunkhouse full of guests.
      Brissue: v. trans the act or process of dividing a beef brisket among many guests.

      1. You would have to be very careful with that kind of “brissue” in my family; if you didn’t do it right, you might actually get stabbed.

  9. Complications following circumcision.

    1. Of course. There would have to be complications if you go cheapskate. 😉

    2. I love it!

      It could even result in a moyelpractice suit !

      Stop me before I post again.

      1. Did you see that Julie kind of wants you to be her next husband? Scroll down. I feel like a cyber yenta. I’m a CYBENTA. 😉

  10. Steve Hess beat me to it. I vote for Steve.

  11. Thank you. I will share the prize with you.

    1. Brian and Steve: I love that you love each other. And you probably love whaleoi13, too. But this is my show.

      However, do you think this would be more fun if people voted on the best definition?

      Because I could totally go that route.

      And everyone loves to vote.

      (Except for things that matter like presidents and members of Congress.)

      Maybe I’ll change this up for the next time.

      Maybe I’ll let the majority rule on the best definition and then just tell you which one I use. See how flexible I can be?

      I like when my commenters give me new & improved ideas. 😉

  12. Brissues are facial tissues stored in a bra for one of two purposes, depending on the age and function of the brissue carrier.

    When the carrier is relatively young, the brissue’s main purpose is to enhance her curves, thus (hopefully) increasing her visual appeal to potential suitors.

    When the carrier is older and a mother (or more likely a grandmother), the brissue’s purpose is to become an all-purpose cleansing rag for sniffles or accidental spills. Often used in conjunction with the maternal “spit wash” method for cleaning stray barbecue sauce from the cheeks of unwary children.

    1. Larry: When I first read your entry, I took it to mean… like, um… real facial tissue was stored in the bra.

      And I thought, “That sick bastard! Who would store living tissue from a face in a bra. I mean even Hannibal Lechter ate his people. And Dexter only keeps blood slides.”

      And then I read the 3rd paragraph: “Often used in conjunction with the maternal “spit wash” method for cleaning stray barbecue sauce from the cheeks of unwary children” and I actually laughed aloud! 😉

      1. Ah, sorry about that. I should have just said Kleenex!

        1. No, getting to the 3rd paragraph was worth it! A real LOL! 😉

  13. Hess wins by a tip…and a clip.

    1. One day I will amuse you all be a replay of prostate cancer surgery and life thereafter. As soon as I stop crying.

  14. I kind of want to be Steve’s next wife. (shhhhh.)

    1. Well, he’s circumsized. So he’s got that going for him. 😉

      1. Renee, you PROMISED to be discrete. Have I said anything about a certain funny stretch mark? You know the one I’m talking about.

    2. Julie
      NOW you tell me! I am two years into my third attempt at it and I promised Sarah I would try and finally get it right. And there you go tempting me. Alas, any next “honeymoon” will be at the Jewish home 🙁

  15. I think the word “brissue” means brand issue. For example, Abercrombie & Fitch offered to pay the Jersey Shore cast not to wear their clothes. A&F was trying to fix a brissue.

    1. I didn’t think think the folks on Jersey Shore really wore clothes…

  16. Brissues are when you have an issue with your bros. Like when two guys who are friends have a problem with each other. These guys are likely to call each other broseph and exchange comfortable one-armed, elbow connecting, non-back patting hugs.

    1. So non-related guys having communication problems then: not to be confused with JM Randolph talking about actual sibling issues. Interesting distinction, Clay.

      1. Yup, bro issues was my first guess, and I’m stickin’ to it. Although I love ‘broke issues’ that someone suggested, and I’m a lot more familiar with those…

  17. Brissue: Dealing with issues which makes one bristle. “I don’t want to call customer service because it ends up being such a brissue!”
    Close?

    1. Karla: I am bristling at the mere thought of having to call customer service. Major league pain in the booty, no doubt.

  18. I love your made-up words.

    And Clay cheated. He looked at my answers.

    1. Jess: Can you imagine living with me? I have my own lexicon. Plus, I am known to add an “ish” and a “y” to almost any word. I find it makes it sound like I know Yiddish (which I don’t).

      “Monkey, I don’t love that shirt. Go and pick something less crumpled-ishy.”

      It’s no wonder he prefers math and science.

      And don’t worry.

      I know Clay peeks. 😉

  19. I got nothing.

    Blame it on 97 teens. Or my 2 kids.

    I’ll try.

    Brissue: When you can’t breathe properly because you’ve spoken on the phone to The Queen for two hours, you have a brissue.

    1. If by The Queen, you mean @KristenLambTX, well… you are right on one point: I was breathless after that bionic phone call.

      Love you. Now back to class you go.

  20. A brissue is an issue so vexing it makes one bristle. She turned to him, eyes full of contempt, when he announced he’d purchased his secretary a diamond encrusted, eighteen carat gold tuna for her birthday. “I have a BRISSUE with that gift, “ she exclaimed!

    1. See, and I would just call that cause for divorce. 😉

  21. Brissue: A legal conflict between parents of different religious backgrounds on whether to perform or not to perform a bris on their son.

    “Their brissue will most likely end in divorce.”

    1. Love how this has turned into The Source For Everything Jewish. 😉

  22. I read your post on Monday, but haven’t had time to reply until today. I was also going to go the circumcision route – although from what I understand, the Bris is partly about the actual “snipping” and partly about the naming. So perhaps the definition should be:
    Brissue (noun) – the conflict that arises between new Jewish parents over what to name their newborn son.

    Use: “Sheila and Jacob were facing a difficult brissue – should they name their son after her late grandfather Saul or his father’s twin brother, Benjamin, who died last year?”

    ~Chrystal

    1. I can’t believe how many people know what a bris is! 😉

  23. Dawg. Hess beat me but I’ll submit anyway. Brissue: word of contempt hoping a person gets sliced up in a bizarre way based on the Jewish rite of circumcision. I woulda been first but could not get back on line until 11:30 this morning.

    1. See what happens the one day that you are late? 😉

  24. Brissue is not a word – it is a sound; usually made when someone sneezes while their mouth is full of food or liquid.

    1. Does it sound a little like Donald Duck sneezing? 😉

  25. Sorry I’m late, I hope I’m still in with a shot at the perfect explanation!

    Brissue noun. A term used commonly to identify problems with sleeping arrangements. Initially used in winter when one person in the bed steals all the blanket, leaving the other person cold. The term now encompasses things such as snoring, sleep-talking and sleep-walking.

    “Honey, I love you but we have to talk about this brissue before I go mad from lack of sleep!”

    (more recently, the term has been generalised to encompass any problem that is caused in or by something starting with “B” – Bathroom-related issue = brissue. Beanbag-related issue = brissue.)

    1. So the elderly man with the enlarged prostate, who has to get up to pee six times a night but just can’t, has a major brissue, right?

  26. Okay, I’m so late to the party. Sorry!

    I have no idea what a Brissue is but I do know the american word for “slampadato” is “tanorexic”. 🙂

    1. Annie, that is so true. I guess we do have a word for that. And you will likely not believe this but in 1988, I had to write a Baccalaureate Essay written from two disciplines. Mine was from Psychology and Biology and it was called “Tanorexia: The New Bronze Rage.” The paper is locked in a cage at Hobart & William Smith Colleges. I swear: I had never, ever heard of the term before — but I think someone stole my word because then, a few years later, I started to hear MY word!

      Because you know I was making them up words even back then!

  27. OK. You know I know what a bris is. Sooo…

    Brissue: The poor guy who passes out during the circumcision has had a “brissue”. I hate it when that happens.

    1. Seen it. It ain’t pretty. 😉

  28. […] The last time we did this the word was “brissue” and two people came closest: Carol H. Rives and Save Sprinkles guessed that the word had something to do with a “bra issue.” And they are right. Kind of. […]

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