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Non-Traditional Super-Hero Powers

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“Mom,” Monkey asked one morning while hunched over a bowl of cereal, “If you could have one non-traditional super power what would it be?”

“What do you mean ‘non-traditional’?”

“You know, no flying or super strength or x-ray vision. Something different. Like the ability to shoot Nerf pellets from your fingers!”

He was awfully perky for 6:50 am.

I thought for a while, but it was before 7 am, and my mind isn’t used to thinking non-traditionally at that hour. At that hour, my brain is generally in more of a bed and pillow mode. If necessary, I can force it to fast-forward to toast and tea mode. But after a few minutes, I figured it out.

Monkey gets some pretty bad migraine headaches.

“I would like to have the ability to take headaches from people and deposit them into soil where they would turn them into purple flowers.”

“That’s cool,” he said, “But weird. Very weird.”

“You said non-traditional!” I protested.

Monkey swirled his Lucky Charms around in his orange Fiesta-ware bowl.

“What about you? What power would you like to have?”

“I’d barf rainbows.”

It was a little early to be talking vomit. Still, Monkey felt compelled to continue.

“You know how throw-up is stinky? I figure, at least if I barfed rainbows, the clean-up part would be kind of beautiful.”

“Dude,” I asked. “Have you ever heard of the saying ‘Apples don’t fall from pear trees’?”

Monkey nodded.

“Let’s just say that’s cool. But weird. Really weird.”

Monkey and I had a good breakfast laugh over that one. And, of course, it got me thinking: This question would be a fantastic new ice breaker activity for the first day of classes in the fall! And it also got me wondering:

What non-traditional super-hero power do you wish you could possess?