Horoscope

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I am, without a doubt, a Scorpio.

Scorpios are tough.

People either love us or hate us.

Like the mythical Scorpion, people born under the sign of Scorpio are strong-willed.

Every Scorpio I know is a powerhouse. We don’t like to be controlled by others.

Astrologists say that Scorpios tend to function as agents of purging, not only on a personal level but on the collective level as well.

It is safe to say that if I don’t feel something is right, I won’t shut up about it.

I will challenge you about it.

I will call you out and wrestle you to the mat.

This relentlessness can be a good thing, but I have also been blamed for my need to bring uncomfortable issues to the surface. I don’t get involved to cause trouble. I get involved in an effort to find solutions and heal.

But Scorpios aren’t always the most tactful.

Like the scorpion that kills itself rather than letting someone else kill it, Scorpios are determined, and once we’ve made up our minds we are unlikely to change them.

We can be self-destructive.

You know how Mick Jagger sang: “You can’t always get what you want”?

That’s because he isn’t a Scorpio.

Scorpios always get what they want.

I have to admit, I tend to be am stubborn.

Once, I worked on a Committee.

Here is what I learned.

I cannot work on a Committee.

Committees are too slow for me.

People on committees have to talk about things for eleventeen hundred bajillion years and I just cannot stand that. In addition, I refuse to give up when others have long since gotten bored, decided to move on, or abandoned a project.

I can’t do that.

When I am invested in something, I give it all of me. I don’t care about the money or the lack of it. I just need to see the project through. I have tried to not be a completion-oriented renegade.

I can’t help it; it is written in the stars.

Or something.

Scorpios draw people to them.

How much do I want this coat?

That’s because we are intelligent hot.

Because everyone knows Scorpios are considered the most passionate symbol in the astrological chart.

Astrologists say Scorpios enjoy competition and challenge. That we aren’t satisfied with moving along at half-speed or lowering our abilities to allow people with lesser skills to beat us.

I move at full court press hummingbird. I am fast-talking and fast walking. You’d better get those synapses firing if you want to be with me.

I have six games of Words With Friends going on concurrently. And let’s be clear. When we play? We are not friends.

I am trying to destroy you.

As friends and lovers, Scorpios are loyal and devoted. Touch my people, and I will find the closet sharp instrument and spear you.

Because Scorpios can hurt people.

What can I say? I’m a Scorpio; sometimes I sting.

Ironically, while Scorpios can wound, we are also about healing: ourselves and the world.

In nature, if a scorpion loses its tail, it can heal itself by growing a new one. Cool right? Well, Scorpios are about regeneration, too.

Harry Potter fans, you remember the Phoenix, right? Remember how it regenerated itself from the ashes of its death and rose into the sky, reborn. The most highly evolved Scorpios aspire to be the Phoenix, to rise above the ordinary world and into something extraordinary.

While out for Chinese food last night. This is the fortune that was placed in front of my plate:

Scorpios have big dreams, and they tend to get things done.

So my Scorpio-ishness will make sure that one day I will have a published book.

In the meantime, I will transform my weaknesses into strengths to help others.

And I will use my words to bring people up rather than tear them down.

I will wife and mother, daughter and sister. And teacher and friend.

And I will undoubtedly twit from time to time.

Because I am a Scorpio; that’s the way I roll.

And yeah, today is my birthday. I’m 44.

What’s your sign? And how well do you fit your astrological profile? Do you believe in this shizz? Or do you think astrology is for the birds?

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