because life doesn’t fit in a file folder

THE CUDDLE CONUNDRUM

Posted on

I know that from the outside it looks like my life is back on track.

And for the most part, it’s true.

Professionally, I’m checking all the boxes, attending shows, teaching art classes, and taking on projects that speak to my heart. Intellectually, I’m feeling challenged again – reading, writing, teaching memoir classes and handling independent editing clients.

I have a good relationship with my parents and a few close friends upon whom I can call if I’m struggling.

But, the one thing that’s missing — the void that cannot be filled so easily — is in the area of physical touch.

Y’all, I can go for days, weeks, even months without anyone touching me.

And for a girl who thrives on touch, I can tell you, it’s really hard.

Sometimes I actually feel like I’m losing my mind because of the lack.

(((thank goodness I can afford occasional massages!)))

I know people will say: “You should get a pet…,” but having a dog or a cat or a ferret is not the same as having another human close to you.

Luckily, these feelings only seems to overwhelm me at night, so my solution has been to stay out as long and as late as possible after dinner, but not really a great solution.

Anyone have any suggestions for this conundrum? How do you handle the void, the loneliness that comes from wanting something you don’t have and may never have?