because life doesn’t fit in a file folder

Meet My Stalker

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A redhead in a dark green sweater whispered in my ear. “Did you ever break in those boots?”

I am usually pretty good at recognizing faces, but this woman?

I had nothing.

The redhead rattled off a few facts about my son. She knew about my attitudes toward gift giving for bar & bat mitzvahs. She knew I drank Canada Dry Ginger Ale. I was flummoxed. Who was this woman, and how did she know about my boots?

“I’m Madge!” she announced with a little curtsey.

“Madge…” I stuttered. “Madge.” I tried to get my synapses to fire, but my neurons were not being cooperative. Holy shizzlesticks! I thought. I think I have a stalker!

Finally, it hit me.

“Madge Madigan?!” I squealed a little too loud. “You don’t look like your avatar at all!”

I might not have recognized Madge because her mouth wasn’t bedazzled by a ginormous ring.

And that is how I met Madge from Madge’s Adult Survival Guide. Y’all, Madge is a hoot. This woman is not afraid to speak her mind. You like politics? Madge is controversial. You wanna hear from a woman who raised three kids, sometimes while on welfare? That’s Madge. You wanna know what type of person type you are at a party? Madge will tell you. Drop in on Madge, and tell her I sent you!

Can you believe I thought Madge was a stalker?

And no, Madge, my boots still pinch. I’ll let you know when I can wear those suckers for longer than four hours. Right now, I’m stuck on Band-Aids. (And Band-Aids are stuck on me.)

Meeting stalkers bloggers in real life is fun.

And speaking of bloggers, a bunch of them wrote fabulous stuff this month.

42 thoughts on “Meet My Stalker

  1. Ooh, some interesting reads here, off to visit!

    1. Hi Alison! I need to come visit YOU! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.

  2. I am so not a stalker! lol I purposely tried to creep you out because I’m a smartass like that. And that’s a God-awful picture of me, I had had a couple that night… and what animal died on my shirt? Thanks so much for the mention/roast! xoxo

    1. Good morning, darling! I told you I would do something with this picture eventually! I’m glad to know your snarky comments didn’t mean you were a hater. It was fun to meet you! 🙂

  3. Thanks for the blog love, Renee! Glad you got a meet one of your bloggers friends in real life. Maybe we’ll meet one day! BTW, who won your “grief bacon” contest?

    Have a great weekend,
    Kathy

    1. Hi Kath! Results for the “grief bacon” contest shall be announced on Tingo Tuesday (the first Tuesday of every month). So this Tuesday. Get ready for a new blogger in my sidebar and a new wonky word! 🙂

  4. Thanks, Renee.
    Off to read “GIRL BONERS” immediately. <3

    1. Kim! You will love August. The girl boner thing is now a regular feature at her place! Soon she’ll be talking about sex toys! 🙂

  5. I always love your mashups! Gives me a new place to go, to read, explore. It’s a a beautiful day here – I wanna write – i have a story that’s a bustin’ to get out and I am short on time and long on jobs to do and places to be… thanks for giving me ideas and fuel. have a great day – make it count!

    1. Hi Clay! I can’t wait to see that story you are excited about! Will you let me know when you get it up there?! Things are hectic this toime of year (as you know!) I’d hate to miss it!

  6. That Wendig post? Fucking fabulous! Applies to many things in life, not just writing. Thanks for sharing it.

    1. Right? Isn’t he awesome sauce? If only I could figure out how to subscribe! Alas, I keep checking for him on Twitter. I’m glad you saw it. He is the bomb.

  7. I love your stalker friend! I’m always looking for fellow sassy redheads! There are so many new names in your list I’ll have to check out! Thanks so much for including me, Renee. Alison already stopped over to visit me. I love making new friends!

    1. Hi Marcia! I’m glad you got to meet Alison. But I’m even happier that I read your “Slow Blogging Manifesto.” Seriously.

      I know some of the “mavens” say bloggers HAVE to post 3 times a week — and maybe there is some merit to that when one is just starting up — but once you’ve been at it a while and you have developed an audience…well, I think it is actually better NOT to bombard one’s readers, but to spend the time making sure one’s content is consistently excellent. (And leave time to work on other projects.) 😉

  8. Thanks Renee – and I’ll visit the other blogs in due course (if my ‘net connection works later… it’s been a pain).

    1. I don’t care what WordPress says: That post should have been Squished Flat! I don’t know how they make their decisions, but that one made me laugh — HARD! 😉

  9. Love this blogger boost of a post! And how cool you met Madge! I love that name by the way! Well, that and she’s a redhead, I’m biased to love her instantly! I’ll be back after work to check out all the fun links!

    1. I thought you might dig another Red Hot. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by, Jess!

  10. You may’ve just inspired my first bout of stalker envy.

    Thanks for the fun post, Renee, and including my link! Off to stalk, I mean mingle with, your stalker. 😉

    1. Oh, my darlin’. I’m guessing you have lots of stalkers out there. Especially with your new feature. IYKWIM. 😉

  11. I’ll have to check out some of those links, now. thanks for including me, Renee. How cool you met your stalker/blogger buddy!

    1. Darla! It was hard to pick ONE piece from you. I also loved your anatomy piece that you wrote this month — your quiz. Hilarious. I hope some people bopped over to check it out. I am still hoping to meet YOU someday, ladybug.

  12. Very nice list and new blogs that I haven’t visited. Thanks

    1. Val! These are good people! You know I follow you! Keep writing and you’ll be included in my mash-up! 😉 Thanks for stopping by. If you do nothing else, read Chuck Wendig’s post!

  13. You are a sweetheart! Thank you for the linky love! I can’t wait to check out the other posts and do a little stalking of my own. I’m hoping to have a stalker moment with you one day! Any plans to visit Chicago?

    1. You know I told you that piece was very important to me — but I haven’t written WHY yet, so I’ll be linking to it AGAIN when I write the piece that it inspires. BUt that won’t go until January or February, most likely. THanks, Mary. Your wise words have been wonderful all month! Hard to pick ONE piece from you.

      1. Awww – thank you! I needed that this morning as I struggle to get my weekly Lessons Learned piece written. Not feeling it! Can’t wait to read your take on hiding!

  14. It wonderful that you got a chance to meet one of your blogging friends in real world. I am now on my way to check those links. 🙂

    1. Arindam! I loved so many of the things you read this month! I’ve got my eye on you! 😉

  15. Good stuff here, Renee. I checked out several of the links and told them you sent me!

    1. Hi Nina! I hope you read @ChuckWendig’s piece! Wowzer. He is a force to be reckoned with. Super inspirational. As are you, my friend. 😉

  16. Sweet ha-ha’s. The Girl Boner post was perfect 🙂

    1. She has started a series on Girl Boners on Mondays. There is another one “up” today that you might like. IYKWIM. 🙂

  17. Remember there was a moment when you thought I was a stalker or a psycho-killer or something?? You need to be more trusting of people you know from the internet. 😉

    1. You are kidding, right? I jumped in your car before you had even stopped! 😉

  18. The boys are sleeping and the little girl is content on the floor (maybe I type too soon…), ergo I am about to check out those links! Woohoo! Also, forget about being FP’ed. I want to write a post that will get me on *this* list. Mmm hmm.

    1. What? A full page of LOVE was not enough for you? 😉 I have been thinking about your post all day today. I am coming back now to see what others said. I found the topic very thought-provoking. We are about to figure out our year end donations. We just gave to the Federation on Super Sunday, but now we have to figure out everything else. I wonder — is it consider a lack of humility to self-gift a little bit? Hmmm indeed.

      1. Maybe I’m just a little greedy. ;P I don’t think it’s lack of humility at all to self-gift. I think that taking care of yourself, emotionally, spiritually, physically, is part and parcel of healthy living. And that includes material stuff. I am SO glad that Judaism is not an ascetic religion.

        1. Agreed! I like the comments that you have received so far! So interesting. I’m glad Lzbeth liked my underwear analogy. And I hope your reader finds peace with this conundrum. And trust me: you’ll end up here again. You always make me think!

          1. I also liked that analogy. It’s so true!

  19. Thanks for the shout-out, Miss ReneeNay. We’ve got to meet somehow. How can that happen? I’m busy working on my Star Trek-style Transporter so as soon as I get the bugs worked out….

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