My Cat-Eye Glasses

When I was in elementary school, I had a really good friend named Andra.

We did everything the same.

We dressed the same.

We picked out the same books on our Scholastic Book orders.

We asked our mothers to pack us the same lunches.

We even got chicken pox at the same time.

image by dorriebelle

Then, Andra got glasses.

She looked so cool in her cute cat-eye frames.

I soooo wanted to look like Andra in her cute cat-eye glasses.

I told my parents that I couldn’t see the blackboard.

That bought me a ticket to the ophthalmologist.

He tested my eyes.

As it turned out, I saw better than 20/20.

He told me that I probably wouldn’t need glasses for years.

I think I kind of wanted to stick my tongue out at him.

But I didn’t.

Eyeglasses always seemed like such a cool fashion accessory.

So anytime there was an opportunity to dress-up, I would wear pretend glasses.

You know, the kind without lenses.

Then I turned 40.

And suddenly, one day, I was looking at a menu in a restaurant and I couldn’t read anything on my menu.

All the words looked really blurry.

I was all: “What the deuce?”

I asked my husband if we could trade menus because — obviously — mine had been printed badly.

And then I saw that his menu had been printed badly, too.

And I was all: “How can you even read this?”

My husband looked at me knowingly.

The next thing I knew I had a prescription for real life reading glasses.

I was all: “Whoo hoo!”

And then I started my search for the perfect eye-wear.

Who knew it would be so hard?

There were so many choices.

And a lot of stuff was just plain ugly.

Which made me feel ugly.

Which bummed me out.

Friends suggested I find a pair of glasses that I really love, so I didn’t feel as though I’d lost my mojo.

So I started collecting glasses.

And I’ve accumulated quite a collection.

But none were quite right.

Recently, I saw this cute pair of gray cat-eye frames, and I thought of my old friend.

How fun are these?

I wonder what kind of glasses Andra’s wearing nowadays.

Because I’m thinking I have to get these in black.

And purple.

Do you wear glasses? How do you feel about them?

Tweet this Twit @rasjacobson

42 thoughts on “My Cat-Eye Glasses

  1. Amazing , Renee. Another coincidental blending of minds with you. I broke my last set of “readers” yesterday and went to her blog yesterday.(!?). This is how a twisted mind works: I have complete vision ins plan and still pick ’em up by the dozen at the doctor dollar store even though the plan allows a free pair of real glasses each year for just $5 shipping. And I see the ophthalmologist, Dr. Silbert, at 9 AM this morning! Freaky, man. Freaky.

    1. Carl, you know that we have had a Vulcan mind-meld thing going on since the moment I met you. You are officially entered into this contesty thing.

      Like you, I have glasses stashed all over the house. And the car. ANd pockets of coats.

      Say hello to your ophthalmologist for me this morning.

  2. Thank you very much for the laugh – I needed one this morning… I have been wearing reading glasses since 40… I think 40 refers to the distance you most hold printed material from your eyes in order to read it -m the distance increases an inch a year until you must get glasses or get your arms lengthened.

    I do remember getting glasses and being told I looked smarter – by my – then – girlfriend. She’s no longer around. Who’s smarter is still up for debate:)

    1. Steve, you just cursed yourself. Tomorrow, you shall wake up and you won’t be able to read anything on the computer.

      ANd then you’ll have to use the ZOOM feature.

      Maybe you are already using the ZOOM feature?

      Who am I kidding, you are pretty perfect, Cowboy. I mean, you sing and everything.

      Do you want to enter for someone else in your life who wears “cheaters”? 😉

  3. I don’t have reading glasses. I have coke bottle glasses. My vision is so bad I’m pretty sure I’m legally blind. It’s so bad even with “lens-thinning technology” they still stick out of the frame. It’s so bad I once got on an elevator, pushed my glasses onto my head, and…didn’t recognize the girl standing next to me was one of my good friends.

    Yeah. I wear my contacts 24/7. Unless I run out.

    Going to the optometrist is worse than going to the dentist for a blind bat like me.

  4. What is it about hitting 40 that makes all printed material turn blurry? I always thought my (older) friends were crazy when they would hold menus and newspapers way out at arms length to read – it just didn’t make any sense to me… shouldn’t you hold things closer to read? Then I hit 40. And tried to bring things closer. But that made it worse! I went and got my eyes checked and the optometrist just said – buy some readers from the drug store. They are cheaper than Rx glasses, and will do you just fine. So now I have a pair at my desk at work, a pair in my purse, a pair by the sofa in the family room, and a pair on my bedside table. If I win the voucher, I will put the “cute” ones in my purse so I look good when I am signing credit card slips or reading menus!

  5. I used to be the garage sale queen (until I filled my house) and one time I happened upon an estate sale where they sold 1950’s eyeglasses. Now that I am just starting to wear them, I should see if they are reading glasses!

    OMG! I just found them and they are sunglasses! I will tweet a photo~ I am going to look into having reading glasses lenses in them! Great idea!

    Consider me entered!

    1. Hi Susie! You are so entered! I found a pair from the 60s that I loved. Until they cracked in half. That sucked.

      This place has reader sunglasses, too.

      They even have a pair with LED lights built in for night-time reading. They are a hoot! 😉

  6. Awesome!! I have what I like to call laser eyes (got Lasik surgery about 6 years ago), but I am pretty jealous of those specs. Can’t wait to hear about the contest winners!

    And? This post cracked me up, “And I was all,” ha! You somehow make that sound smart. Maybe it’s the glasses.

  7. Those glasses are SuperFabulous. And I already subscribe and follow you on Twitter.

    But my eyes are 20/20 so I don’t get to be SuperFabulous.

    DANG it.

    (I’ve never been bummed to have good eyesight before. But then again, I’ve also never been fashionable. Hmmmm.)

  8. My senior year in high school the teachers all started writing illegibly on the boards. Wore glasses until the girl I asked to marry me told me only if I got contacts. Wore them for 40 years until I got LASIK. Now I still have to wear reading glasses – off the rack at Wal-Mart.

    Lately, actors on TV have all started mumbling. . . .

  9. Re: those glass – don’t do it!
    You’ll look like Dame Edna Everage – which would not be a good thing.
    (Hint – “she’s” an Australian bloke.)

  10. I love cute glasses. I haven’t worn my bifocals in years because I want to wear my cute glasses-cranberry, cheetah, black, black and white, brown with white polka dots, no frames with a red chinese flower motif on the stems, plaid, olive green, cranberry-pink-blue striped, blue wire rim…I know I’m leaving “someone” out! When I read AP in June, I have a different pair for almost every day…I might be a tad brainy…but I’ll take cute at the AP reading. I love this post!
    PS I went to a beautiful wedding a month ago. The bride outfitted the bridesmaids, including my daughter in cute slippers so they could doff their cute fuschia high heels for something more comfortable. And then, as everyone warmed up the dance floor each bridesmaid in the cute black dresses had the same pair of glasses!!! It was adorable…and fun!

  11. Love the cat eye glasses!

    I’ve always had pretty good vision, too, though the first pair of glasses I needed was for distance. I was in college and taking a statistics lecture. Mind you, this was a University of Florida lecture hall. At least 150-200 students in the class. The class was as boring as watching grass grow and the prof. sounded like he was doing a bad Woody Allen impression. I always went to class but could never bear to stay through the whole lecture, so I sat in the back to be able to leave early and avoid drawing attention to me by walking up the aisle early every single class.

    Then one day I realized that I just couldn’t see the board without squinting, which doesn’t actually work very well. I thought I would have to embrace one of three sucks: a) sit in front to see the board and stay the whole class; b) not see the board and continue to leave early; c) shell out a few hundred bucks (a daunting prospect for a college student) for glasses so I could stay in the back and leave early.

    I got glasses.

    They’ve always been a mild prescription and in my last appointment, the doctor told me that my distance vision has actually improved a bit.

    Of course, that just means that my close-up vision is getting worse. I don’t technically need reading glasses, but 1.0 magnifiers from Wal-Mart sure do make it easier to concentrate when reading or writing by hand. And yes, this latest development has pretty much happened since I turned 40, not even a year ago. I take comfort in the ability to use the glasses as cool props. I like to take them off, look thoughtful as I bite gently on one of the arms of the glasses, then put them back on and start writing furiously. 😉

    Them’s my stories and I’m stickin’ to ’em!

  12. I needed glasses from a very young age, but got by for a few years by squinting. Then one day I copied a homework assignment on the blackboard, and when my mother realized I got the page numbers so skewed, she took me to the eye doctor, and then I progressed rapidly to the coke bottles. By graduate school, I had “Professor” glasses: this is where the lenses reflect light so completely that they appear to flash like a headlight. The reason is that if your myopia is 6 diopters or more (that is 24 clicks on the device they put up to your eyes in the exam), and you have astigmatism to boot, and your lenses are then flat, they reflect light in an extreme way. Oddly, the glasses helped in my college teaching jobs as well as for medical editing, as my interviewers did not question my intelligence once they saw my glasses.

    1. Dear DrPG:

      Men always look ultra intelligent in their glasses. As for women, I believe it kicks us down about 36.2 notches on the hotness scale. Still, it’s better than looking really hot and falling down all the time.


      Medical editing, huh? You are a smarty-pants. 😉

      So if you are myopic, you don’t need “cheaters,” right?

      Do you want to enter this contest for someone else? They make a lovely gift! 😉

      1. I think intelligence always looks nice. Do you not think that an intellectual face with glasses if preferable to a pretty face with an empty stare?
        Yes, after teaching college for 12 years making $75 a week for each course ($9,600 with no benefits for a full-time equivalent load), I needed to live indoors, and thanks to a singing gig I found out about medical education. Unfortunately, the bottom dropped out of the field recently, and I have been unemployed for some time. It is odd that when I began my career, I had to hide my Ivy League PhD and another graduate degree (they viewed me as treyf if I even mentioned an advanced degree). After a while, I could admit to having them, and then for a time they were an asset. Now, I am unemployable because, with my 4 degrees and long experience, I am “overqualified.” I need a lobotomy to qualify for a job today.
        I would be interested in entering for someone else. Did you know, however, that many frames can be fitted with new lenses, so you can replace reading lenses with myopic lenses, provided the frames have the strength to endure the heating process needed to fit the lenses? Also, with my editing, I needed large frames to give me a wide periphery for reading the various books and articles simultaneously. I wound up using fashionable sunglass frames, as they were the only contemporary frames large enough for my needs. They give me a unique appearance, but they work.

  13. Ok – ok…. this is THE Andra!!! How cool to be written about! But funny how life works because I remember HATING my glasses and tried to wear them as little as possible. The best was when I finally got contacts, and I’ve worn them every day since. I will admit I think that reading glasses look cool, but I am still happy not to need them (yet). The only thing preventing me from Lasik surgery is fear.

    1. Ange! I am beyond thrilled that you found me here! Well, we have definitely switched places because now I’m the one wearing the glasses. And while they are a little bit of a pain, I only need them for reading and not for distance, so I can live with it. Plus there are a lot of fun frames to play with, not like back in the days when you had to get them. If I am not wrong, I remember your mom kept her glasses on a chain around her neck. Right? That was a long time ago! Please, let’s talk to each other.

  14. Yes – Mom had a chain for her glasses… so she wouldn’t lose them! She had more than one decorative chain too (if my memory doesn’t fail me).

    Funny thing… Mom had eye surgery a few years ago (not Lasik) and it ended up correcting her vision! Instead of needing glasses all the time she ended up just needing reading glasses (bye-bye trifocals). She laughed thinking about all those years of needing glasses… but then she got hooked on reading glasses. My sister and I found about 50 pairs around her apartment when we cleaned it out – all different colors and shapes! She clearly enjoyed her glasses once they were no longer a daily burden. If they haven’t been donated yet perhaps I will have them shipped to you!

  15. Renee, I know that I would love, love, love your blog if I could only see it! I have always had nasty glasses since the 5th grade. I am desperately seeking just an iota of coolness! Laurie

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