Grammar Humor

Friday Quick Question: Should We Pet Dead Squeyls?

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The other day I saw a sign that read: “Free Babies Clinic.”

Which I thought was weird.

It was a warm day, and I imagined folks handing out babies like ice cream cones.

What exactly is going on? I wondered.

But as I got closer, I saw that the sign was actually advertising a “Free Rabies Clinic,” which made me wonder: Are we giving people rabies these days? And who would want that? Even for free?

I kind of remember A “very special” Little House on The Prairie episode where Mary or Half-Pint or Carrie (or maybe it was the Jack, the dog?) got bitten by something – a raccoon or a bat – and Ma and Pa and Doc were pretty freaked out, and Pa had to saddle up the horses and ride all the way to Mancato to get… um, I don’t know. Special shots? Pills? Now that I think about it, maybe Pa just had to shoot the dog.

I also might have completely fabricated that whole thing.

I’m not sure.

Anyway, I guess I really do need to wear my reading glasses all the time now.

A few days later, as the stars aligned in the universe, I stumbled across the following video which features a child fondling a freshly killed squirrel, and I wondered: Have we stopped completely worrying about rabies to the point that we are now allowing our children to carry glorified rats wild animals around and snuggle them?

Don’t get me wrong. The video is fabulously, adorably morbid.

And I’m guessing this dad just got caught up in the moment the way his daughter did.

It is also probably why the aforementioned father repeatedly stresses the need for his wee dead animal lover to come in and take a bath.

I’m thinking little Thea might grow up to be a fabulous doctor. Look how caring she is.

Other options include taxidermist or mortician.

It’s good to have options.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. It’s Friday. See where poor eyesight and bad signage leads me? Tell me something you saw this week. Or thought you saw.

25 thoughts on “Friday Quick Question: Should We Pet Dead Squeyls?

  1. I seriously need to get a life. I just watched my cat catch a snake. She swiftly carried the live (rather large) snake into the garage. I saw her there with and have photographic evidence.

    My husband doesn’t understand why I object to the cat being allowed on our bed. He thinks I’m being territorial as my pillow seems to be her favorite spot.

    Oh and the snake has disappeared. Time for some iced tea.

    1. I’m cool with cats gettin’ snakes. I’m also cool with you not wanting aforementioned cat chillin’ on your pillow.

      You have always been a very smart person.

      Now take your evidence and your tea and wait for your husband to come home.

  2. I thought rabies had long beards and had names with extra a’s in them (Aaron, Jaacob, Isaaih, Isaac), had white beards and read scrolls with alien writing . God gave them the land of milk and honey known today as Miami Beach.

  3. “I stumbled across the following video which features a child fondling a freshly killed squirrel, and I wondered: Have we stopped completely worrying about rabies to the point that we are now allowing our children to carry glorified rats wild animals around and snuggle them?”

    I saw that video too. I thought it was very cute and I liekd the idea that the father was allowing his child to hold the dead animal and wasn’t trying to shield her from death. He was quite clear that she wouldn’t be able to hug it the next day (fair enough, it’ll start to rot).

    Rabies never occurred to me, but this is probably because I live in the UK and we don’t have rabies here (unless you happen to catch a bat, a few bats have a very rare batty form of rabies). It alters your perspective somewhat.

    1. I would draw the line at cuddling a rotting carcass. There is nothing cute about carrion. But this seemed rather innocent.

      Innocent and simultaneously repulsive. 😉

      How is it that there are no animals with rabies in the UK? That is actually fascinating!

      1. There is no rabies in the UK because we eradicated it. We are a small island, this helped a lot. For many years ALL stray dogs were shot, all pet dogs had to have a license or be killed. Most dogs were muzzled. If rabies broke out every stray or wild animal wihin miles was killed. Vicious, but it worked. We are rabies free. There was a huge outcry when the channel tunnel was built between England and France. The fear was that rabies would get back from mainland europe. Various animal traps were built into the tunnel as a result (or there was talk of it).

        I have just checked on wiki and it says France doesn’t have rabies either. So objections the the channel tunnel were probably all based on anti-French sentiment rather than fact.

        Several countries in Europe have been designated rabies-free jurisdictions: United Kingdom, Republic of Ireland, Belgium, The Netherlands, Luxembourg, France, Switzerland, Portugal, Italy, Spain, Greece, Malta, Germany, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland and Iceland. (wikipedia)

  4. Eww. I think it’s good that the father isn’t sheilding his child from death, but maybe a squirrel funeral would have been a better idea (Like the one they had for Lamont the goldfish on Cosby). The girl may not have to worry about rabies if the squirrel was killed by the dog (which seemed weird since it didn’t seem to have any noticable bite wounds). But who knows what she could get from rubbing a dead squirrel all over her body. I hope the shower is enough to help or she’s going to have a nasty rash in the morning.

  5. We are clearly living parallel lives. Yesterday, I saw I sign that said “Baby Sale.” You get bet what was going on in my head.

    And the squirrel. How can I hear about that without thinking of Lennie in Of Mice and Men?

    Happy Weekend, my friend.

  6. My children are fearless when it comes to handling animals whether they be wild or domesticated. They are absolutely delighted that we are playing host to a couple baby mice — who live outdoors — this spring. They have a blast watching them scurry about. While I encourage avid exploration of all living creatures, I do my best to keep their hands off any wild furry ones. Who knows what kind of diseases or germs they are carrying. Why take a chance?

  7. Free? That’s a good deal on rabies.

    I’m thinking of Dumb and Dumber where the little blind boy is saying, “Pretty bird, pretty bird,” stroking his little pet Tweetie with the head duct-taped on. So thanks for inspiring a memory of Dumb and Dumber for me today.

    P-Motion has been infatuated with a dead rabbit in the road the last couple of days. We can’t keep him away from it. If only it was Hopper… the bastard.

    Thanks for a random Friday the 13th laugh, reading-glasses-wearin’ woman.

    1. Chase:

      Until the wife called the guy behind the camera “Sean,” I swore this might have been you and one of your spawn.

      Why am I not surprised to hear that P-Mo has a thing for the dead rabbit? And why are you not blogging about it? 😉

  8. Hee hee. The crazy things people film to make a YouTube video go viral.
    Very hungry and rural side? Gut a squirrel for dinner. Otherwise, no reason to have anything to do with them, either here in Mexico or USA, where Rabies es un realidad. Love rabbits! I had to keep my son away from dead critters when he was of that age.

    I see what I call flat cats. Long dead cats on walk way beside carretara. No! No! Happy Friday the 13th.

    1. Hola Annette:

      You think he filmed this on purpose?

      So he could be judged by a nation of finger-wagging parents who will (undoubtedly) go nuts about the way little Thea lovingly touches her dead friend and then repeatedly puts her hands dangerously close to her mouth?

      Clearly mom and dad were not on the same page with this one. They reminded me of Phil and Claire Dumfee from Modern Family.

      Wait, you might not get that show in Mexico. That is something for you to watch on your computer.

  9. My sister used to chase my godmother along the beach with a dead starfish – every now and then having to retrieve it from the sand when another leg detached.

  10. I just came home to my very excited dog jumping all over me, licking my face.

    I let her in really close while I sniffed around thinking, “Huh. What’s this smell on her?”

    A few more licks on the face. Maybe one or two in my mouth. “Really. This scent is ALL OVER the dog. What could it be?”

    Then I found the rotting mouse corpse on the stairs.

    My dog had found it and had been playing with it and clearly thought I might want to play, too.

    Oh. My. God.

    I gave the dog a bath. I took a shower. I put a little toothpaste in her mouth (if it’s toxic to dogs, I don’t want to know) and I brushed my teeth. A lot.

    I am generally not squeamish and I loved this video when I saw it yesterday on Facebook.

    But now it hits too close to home.

    Tomorrow, I’ll think it’s perfection again.


    1. Ewww. I know that scent.

      It’s that sickeningly sweet smell.

      I’m glad your dog likes toothpaste. She sounds like a really good dog. Except for that whole killing and rolling around in the dead mouse carcass thing. 😉

      Have a great weekend, friend.

    2. Julie–Toothpaste for humans is toxic to dogs. Most of it contains xylitol, also found in sugar-free gum, mints, and poisons in other forms. If your dog regularly snacks on dead critters, you might want to invest in doggie toothpaste. Supposedly, it comes in beef flavor, which I’m not sure smells any better than dead rodent… However, using doggie toothpaste may prevent dead canine odor. All of this said, one of my good friends owned Belle the Beautiful Mixed Breed. Left home alone, Belle’s minty fresh greeting, betrayed the theft of another tube Pepsodent or Wrigley’s Doublemint…

  11. The innocence of a sweet child loving a squirrel. Wanting to keep it and realizing this will be the last goodbye.

  12. There’s a free rabies clinic going on at my kid’s school today too. And though I usually dig free stuff, I figured I’d pass this time. My kid’s school gives us the flu for free every Fall. One free infliction a year, thanks.

  13. Two of my girls found a dead bat in our back yard last night…after Anna photographed it, Bri picked it up with two sticks and hurled it over the fence into the brush…alas…there was no cuddling…

    Reposting this on Facebook…the tears are rolling down my face from laughing so hard…thanks Renée…


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