How I Caused The Buffalo Bills to Lose Super Bowl XXV
In 1991, I lived in Buffalo, New York.
That year, the Bills made it to the Super Bowl for the first time. The team was favored to win, and everyone who lived within a 60 mile radius was stoked.
A graduate student at the time, each week, I sat in Wash World for one-hundred-minutes, reading and taking notes as the machines hummed around me.
I’ve never been a football fan, so I swear on a six-pack of Bud Lite when I tell you that I had no idea it was the night of the Big Game when I ventured out to do my laundry that Sunday.
All I knew was that the tiny parking lot was jammed with cars.
Cursing my bad luck, I parked a half-block away and kicked my basket down the slippery sidewalk. The snow looked blue in the darkness. I remember the cold and the way my breath curled in the air.
Inside, I paced around looking for an available washer only to discover every machine was in use. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why it was so dang busy at Wash World. Usually, the joint was quiet on Sunday nights. But that night, more than two-dozen men huddled around a tiny television, which someone had set atop a crooked table.
I glanced at the screen. Oh. I rolled my eyes. A football game.
That night, I tried to read, but the men cheered and cursed at a deafening decibel. A tall dude in acid-washed jeans crushed an empty beer can against a wall.
As you can imagine, this bunch wasn’t diligent about checking to see if their laundry had finished spinning.
When a machine stopped, I waited to see if anyone noticed. No one did.
Standing at the edge of the rug, I made my announcement. “Someone’s wash is done.” I gestured toward a row of white washers. The men sipped their beer with indifference.
I should have left.
But I needed fresh towels and clean underwear to make it through the week.
I tossed someone’s load of graying tee shirts and ratty boxer shorts into a wire cart with wheels, and I continued to listen to them burp and fart and laugh and whistle and swear.
Forty minutes later, I dumped my wet pile into a wheelie basket and contemplated the whirling wall of dryers.
I checked my watch and noted how late it was.
I didn’t want to be in Wash World anymore.
Trapped in a world of testosterone, cigarettes, and beer, I silently prayed that I might own a washing machine and dryer one day, so I wouldn’t have to go out in the cold with a roll of quarters and touch the damp underclothes that belonged to strange men.
When a few dryers rolled to a stop, I planted my boots at the edge of the rug again.
But no one moved.
I had a right to dry my laundry and, game-be-damned, I was going to do it.
I crossed in front of the television.
The men snapped to attention. I might as well have stabbed someone.
“Holy shit!” A scraggly guy in those gawd-awful baggy red, white and blue Zubaz pants clutched his head with both his hands.
“A bunch of dryers stopped,” I said to no one in particular.
Glancing at the television, I noticed a slim figure in white running onto the field. A man on the rug chewed his fingernails. Some of the others pressed their palms together, as if in prayer.
I heard an announcer say something about a player named Norwood; about the 47-yard kick he would have to make. He said he thought Norwood could do it. Another argued there was no way.
I heard all this as background noise.
You know, because I didn’t care about the game.
I just wanted to finish my laundry and go back to my crappy little broken down house.
“I hope he misses,” I grumbled. I didn’t think anyone heard me.
As the kicker’s field goal attempt went wide right of the uprights, I watched the **players in blue** jump up and down, and I heard the announcer say something about the Bills losing Super Bowl XXV.
Looking up, I realized I was the only woman in a room full of men who had just watched their dreams die.
Men who had been drinking.
The man in the baggy pants pointed a finger at me. “She wanted Scotty to miss!”
A beer can whizzed past my face.
Someone called me a bitch.
I thought they were going to kill me.
Apparently, by walking in front of the television and speaking a few words, I had altered the outcome of the game.
It made perfect sense.
A girl’s gotta know when a girl’s gotta go, and that was my time to git.
Abandoning my laundry, I hustled into the darkness. The freezing air slapped my cheeks as I hurried down the street, trying not to slip. Glancing back, I hoped no one was following me. Inside my car, my breath hovered in the air when I finally exhaled.
I went back to Wash World the next day to retrieve my things, but my laundry was gone.
I don’t like to think about what might have happened to it.
These days, I remain uninterested in the NFL.
If we are invited to someone’s house for a Super Bowl party, I stay in the kitchen. At halftime, I emerge to watch the show long enough to be able to comment on it the next day.
And I am careful to never cross in front of the television.
Which team do you follow? Or are you just there for the bean dip? If you don’t watch, what do you do during the Super Bowl? And can I come with you?
**NOTE: I had to Google “Who won the Super Bowl in 1991?” to find out the winning team. It was the Giants. The Giants won. Seriously, I had no idea.
124 thoughts on “How I Caused The Buffalo Bills to Lose Super Bowl XXV”
OK, but what did you do the other 3 times? 😉
After going to someone’s house for the Bills’ 2nd Bowl, I avoided. Hubby clapped so freakin’ loud, I made him wear gloves. True story. From there on out, I went to the grocery store. Its very quiet at the grocery store DURING the game.
So does this mean I can’t blame you for all 4 of the Bill’s consecutive losses? That’s pretty much when I gave up on football. Dr. J. is still a Bills fan? Now THAT’s dedication!
No. You should still blame me. I was told the Bills lost the second time because I wasn’t watching. This year I won’t be watching. I’ll be hiding.
I’m Canadian. I don’t do football. Still, I once read a book during the World Series or something, when the Blue Jays were playing. I think they won. All I remember about that time is that the guy I was seeing at the time broke up with me the next day, since we were “clearly incompatible.”
By that, I think he was referring to my ability to read…
I’m American, and I don’t do football. Well, I might go to someone’s house, but — as I said — I hide in the kitchen until the halftime show. It’s a snoozefest as far as I’m concerned.
So glad you survived your Wash World Super Game day, Renee.
I grew up near Pittsburgh. If the Steelers aren’t in the Super Bowl, I have no interest. Oh! Those guys in blue? I think it may have been The Cowboys. I never expect and rarely care that they’ll be in the Super Bowl, but I keep that fact In The Thought Bubble here in DFW.
Googlingwriting at SBUX, one of The Regular Dudes asked who my “pick” was for the Super Bowl.
“Depends,” I said. “Who’s playing? I know it’s not the Steelers. So…” *shrug*
Could this be why we have no party invitations for Super Bowl Sunday? Must ponder.
I used to LOVE the Steelers when I was growing up. My brother taught me all the players’ names. He used to have a poster from one of their Bowls up in his bedroom until fairly recently.
your interest in football outshines mine–I do not like or understand football–the only good thing about football is the snacks
It was a temporary interest that was location based. I don’t watch football now. And, I should also confess, in high school, I was a cheerleader. (Okay, stop laughing.) I started a cheer that went “D-E-F-E-N-S-E, DEFENSE FOR A VICTORY!” when our team had the ball. Sad, but true. I knew nothing about the game, but I looked okay in the skirt. 😉
Renee, that was hilarious! I only started learning anything about football when my son started playing. I know very little beyond touchdown and first downs, but I have been known to watch a few Seattle Seahawk games 😉
I’m Jewish. My kid can’t play football! LOL! Seriously, the only way I could get into the sport would be if my child was directly involved. And I’m not talking working the concessions. 😉
Me, I’m a Giants fan. They are not in the Super Bowl so I’m a 49ers fan since I have a whole shit-load of relatives in San Francisco. You are not the only reason the Bills lost the Super Bowl. My daughter is a rabid Bills fan and any team she is a fan of ALWAYS loses. You can come hang with me for the Superbowl if you can get to San Antonio and if you can stand messy and I don’t know what snacks I’ll have yet but I should decide soon so I don’t spend Sunday at the supermarket picking out something to eat. That’s bad form. One must plan ahead. I’ll probably have herb cheese and crackers that my brother sent me for Christmas. That way I don’t have to do shopping. And Green tea with ginseng. If you can deal with that, you’re certainly welcome. Oh, and there are the two Japanese Chin dogs. They are usually pretty quiet in the evenings. Come on down, y’all. (A little southern expression I’ve picked up.)
Hanging out with you sounds dreamy. Green tea with you and your dogs sounds delightful. And thank you for telling me that the 49ers are in it this year. Again, I had no idea. They don’t wear blue, do they? 😉 I’ll be in DFW for BlissDom in March. That’s far away, isn’t it? Texas is huge like that, yes?
Lifetime Bears fan here… So the burning question is – what you think they did with your underwear?
For real, I have no idea.
But it freaks me out.
I think they destroyed it.
I think they ripped my stuff apart, kind of like they wanted to rip me apart. You had to see these dudes. They were scary die-hard Bills’ fans. I did something very bad that day.
Of COURSE you changed the outcome of the game! You are Woman. Powerful. And I go to the Superbowl parties for the food, always. Funny…now that I think about it, we haven’t gone to a Superbowl party in years…
I was just invited to a SuperBowl party and I told the host to read today’s post before they decide they want me there. Haven’t heard back from them. I’m might be uninvited by now. And it’s too bad because you are right: the food is always really good. 😉
*falling down laughing …*
I remember those god-awful pants well! You’re lucky you got out alive, girl! Great story – I have a vivid image in my mind of you back then. Weird, huh?
I enjoy football when I have nothing else I’d rather do (ahem) so I’m only in it for the food. Let’s tweet smack about the game together this year and see who else’s dreams we can shatter. That definitely qualifies as something I’d rather do! And get your hands off my bean dip!
Hi Mary! I guess I’d have to say I’m in it for the food and the halftime show, so if I’m not invited somewhere, I usually hit the mall. It’s generally packed with other women who don’t give a rat’s ass about the game. I made a good friend during the Super Bowl one year. I can’t promise I will be tweeting during the game. Might have to go to the grocery store. I find that the grocery store is also very quiet on game nights. But if I don’t go, I wouldn’t mind tweeting about the commercials. Maybe. Then again, I might just catch up on some American’s Next Top Model. Now THAT’s entertainment.
I come from a long line of indifference when it comes to sports, especially watching it on TV. And I had four brothers. As luck would have it, I married a man who also has no desire to watch televised sports. I have never even been invited to a World Series party.
What I do love is your play-by-play depiction of this event. That’s some great mojo you got going on – you should bottle and sell it! 😉
Hi Mary! I come from a family that LOVES college sports. My parents are all about Syracuse University basketball, etc. But not so much when it comes to the pros. Yawnsville.
I have been invited to a party this year. It’s the first time in a very long time. All I know is that if I go, it’s not about the game; it’d about the people. And I’m still going to hide in another room until the halftime show. 😉
I’ve taken great care to avoid any living situation that leaves me without a washer-dryer. Or leaves me watching a football game. I’ve been pretty lucky so far.
I admire you so much right now. If you live in Buffalo, it’s pretty much a given that you are going to the laundromat at some point in your life and your are going to a Bills’ game. I managed to avoid going in person, but I had to watch a bunch on TV. You, my dear, come from a place of privilege. On an up-note, that prayer did come true. I do have my own washer and dyer these days. True dat.
I meant – Super Bowl party – I’ve never been invited to a Super Bowl party. I do know the World Series is about baseball. 🙂 I am so pathetic when it comes to sports.
You know, this year, I just hope that someone slam dunks in triple over time and gets a hat-trick. Or something like that. I feel your pain. Maybe we could just play Words With Friends? 😉
Making a quick getaway was probably your only chance for survival and I’m glad you did. Otherwise, I’d never read such great stories. 🙂
Nelson, you seem to understand the gravity of the situation here. This was no joke. I think those guys might have killed me if I didn’t get out of there. That was not the time to worry about the Victoria’s Secret panties. No. I had to get out of there. Those guys love them some Bills! Are you ready for some football? 😉
Now that I’ve read your story (hilarious!), you need to see “Silver Lining Playbook.”
Does that have to do with football? If so, I’m out. Unless there is some character who totally hates football. In which case, I’m in. 😉
Renee. the more I read the more I lurve!!! I too am not a football fan (did I say that out loud?). Now it makes sense that you turned your son to fencing.
Actually, my son turned to fencing on his own. I would never have picked such an expensive sport. I would have been like: Here’s a pair of sneakers. Go run track! LOL! 😉
Glad to know there is another man out there in the world who doesn’t care.
any youngster that is into fencing on his own is SO F’N COOL.
Agreed. But I went kicking and screaming. The sport costs a fortune. Seriously. It’s like a country club membership. They are traveling to DC this weekend for another tourney. I, myself, will not be going. 😉
But, but….I’M close to DC. So is Thoughtsy……Might you wanna reconsider? 😉
I can’t. They are flying in — not driving; otherwise I would have, believe me! I’ll be holding down the fort here. But thank you for the kind offer of keeping me busy during the gawd-awful game.
Haha. Oh, Renee. You spoke ’em magic words and cursed them. This might be why Tom encourages me to go paint my nails or go out to dinner with friends on Superbowl night. I tend to route for whatever team has the coolest outfit.
Like you, I root for the team with the coolest outfits. Or uniforms. Whatever you call them. You know, the team with the guys whose pants highlight their tushes the best. 😉
Geesh, those guys were intense! I just hate it when something that’s supposed to be “fun” is twisted into something that makes people act like jerks.
It. Was. So. Intense. I think I jumped in the air when that one guy crushed his beer can against the wall. That was actually scary. Looking back at it, I can’t believe that I had the chutzpah to speak up. But I really didn’t know it was the big game. If I had known, I would have left. But yes, sports can bring out the best and the worst in people. Often the worst.
A woman after my own heart. I chose my other half principally because he hates sport, never follows it. So any other attributes and qualities he might have fade into insignificance beside the fact that I never have to creep round the house on Saturday afternoons while he watches ‘The Beautiful Game’ (It’s all about football to Real Men in Britain, you see).
My hubby will be in DC on Sunday with TechSupport. Boy has a fencing tournament, and they will be on the road Sunday night. I’m sure Hubby will listen to the game on the radio, but he isn’t into it when his team isn’t playing. Please don’t ask me what team that is. It might still be the Bills. I’m not sure anymore.
I think you picked your husband well. And more women would do well to ask that question during the screening part of the relationship.
WOMAN: “And how many hours a week do you plan to devote to watching organized sports on TV?”
MAN: “I dunno. About 20 maybe.”
WOMAN: “Okay, I think we are finished here.” 😉
LOVE this story! I have also had a scuffle or two in the laundry room in my day. So glad to own a washer and dryer now!
Really? Do tell! Would LOVE to know the details. Were there women involved? Or men? I’ve had women try to steal my clothes before, but NOTHING ever came close to this little ditty.
Absolutely. Still, if you’d done that, you would have had a different husband maybe, and definitely, DEFINITELY no TechSupport
That is true. Even he isn’t very interested in the Big Game this year. He won’t even be near a TV as he’ll be in a car driving home from DC. Maybe a radio broadcast will be more riveting that watching it on TV. But probably not. 😉
I can’t believe you walked in front of the TV? And that you said……those words. Oh Renee. You are really lucky to have gotten out of there alive! Losing your clothes was a small price to pay. Reading this, I really started to get super nervous for your safety. I’m so glad you escaped unscathed!!
And I am from Baltimore. And am a football, and naturally a Ravens’ fan, so that’s who I’ll be rooting for. (Psst….Baltimore Ravens v. San Francisco 49ers). Normally, since my team is rarely in it, I’m in it for the commercials and snacks. This year will be different, of course.
GO RAVENS!!!! 🙂
Oh, so the Ravens are the other team? Thanks for that. Again, had no idea. Do they wear black? I might be able to get behind the Ravens because they have a literary name — you know, “Quoth the Raven: ‘Nevermore.'” Poe? Is he even involved? Maybe I shouldn’t root for your team, given my track record. It doesn’t really matter. I’ll be doing something else that doesn’t involve football.
They are black and purple. And yes, Poe spent some time in B-more (I believe his grave is here) and the name is an homage to his most famous poem. It is VERY literary. 🙂 But yeah, maybe root for the Niners. For me?
Misty: I promise to root for the Niners, but, honestly, I’ll probably be painting my toenails. Or something.
Renée, I LOVE this story!
If this had been down in Brazil during a soccer game, it could have been much worse!
Ah yes. The REAL futball. I know those fans can get scary. Years ago, I was in Italy during a World Cup. That was a mob scene. My friend had just gotten married, but all the groomsmen were hanging out in the lounge watching soccer. She was so pissed.
I could care less about the Super Bowl. Always have. This year we are going to a party, but it’s more a housewarming party for my brother and sister in law than a super bowl watching party. I do like the commercials though. 🙂
Recently, I’ve been underwhelmed by the commercials. Although Janet Jackson’s “garment malfunction”a few years ago was kind of excellent. For about a minute.
* … on the floor now … * Renée, it looks like your comments column has been cut off or I’m missing something … but never mind … I just popped back in here to say that I can’t leave a comment right now anyway because I am paralytic from laughing at your post and your comment responses. If I didn’t have 572 things to do today I would jump in the car and drive straight to your house in Roch to give you a big hug. Laughter is the best gift and you never fail to deliver! p.s. One of our sons is in N’awlins for the week cuz he’s a tv producer for Rogers Sportsnet up here in TO. I watch the game because I think he is making it all happen (and for the half-time show, of course, which I also attribute to him). Hey, it’s what moms do, right? No idea who’s playing. Enjoy the snacks!
(This is not an official comment.)
Dem pants mighta been hot in ’71 but not ’91. Hey, since you have magical football powers, can you make the Miami Dolphins win a few this next season ?
Carl! Sadly, those pants were TOTALLY hot in 1991. And, if you click on the link, you will see they are making a revival. You can buy them today online. As far as the Dolphins go, I once dated a guy who LOVED the ‘Phins. His bedroom was a shrine to all thins turquoise, grey and orange. I think he loved those guys more than he loved me. No, I’m sure of it. 😉
Well proves I’m no fashion guru.
We once hosted a get-to-know-our-neighbors ice cream social at our apartment. Planned like crazy, distributed cute little invitations, the whole deal. We were SOOO disappointed when NOBODY showed up! Turns out it was Super Bowl Sunday & we had no idea. As a side note, my husband rocks! He had no idea either.
All that ice cream and no one to eat it? What a disaster. I’m guessing you made do. I kind of love that you and your hubby exist in blessed ignorance regarding the Super Bowl. Outstanding. You are a lucky woman, Karin. 😉
Yes I am very lucky 🙂 And we definitely enjoyed that ice cream for quite a few days after that.
Wow, I bet it was your fault when the Vikings lost the 2009 NFC Championship game too. I’ve still never recovered from that! I still pay attention to football but am not near the sports fan I was when I was younger. I still know guys that can quote every stat and know every player. I just don’t get that… there’s so many better hobbies!
Yeah, I’ll accept responsibility for that loss, too. Do the Vikings wear those cool hats with the horns? If not, that is a bummer because that would be a totally cool hat to add to my collection. See how that has absolutely nothing to do with football? 😉
Well, the helmets have horns painted on the side but the mascot is a real Viking with, yes one of those cool hats with the horns. You would look good in one of those!
When I was a kid, I thought the Vikings’ helmet logo was a slice of cake. That was probably a precursor of my adulthood love of food …
I had to google the image to see what that helmet used to look like. I can see why you would have thought that. Kinda. Is it wrong that I am hungry now?
I’m so sorry you lived in Buffalo. I’ve played through there twice and the only thing that got me through was the cafe Breve at The Spot. I totally don’t follow sports but I always enjoy football when it’s on – which in my house is only the Superbowl, and only if I’m home. I remember those freaking pants!! Sounds like you got out just in time.
JM: I’m sorry you had to travel through WNY. Those were dark years, the Buffalo years. I don’t think The Spot was even invented when I was there. I’m glad that you can confirm that those pants existed. Not everyone believes me on that. But, alas, it is true. And even sadder? I dated someone who wore them regularly with an acid-washed duster. True story.
Wow. That may beat the meth addict I dated. His pants were vinyl.
This dude in the acid-washed duster was a Navy Deal, so I couldn’t ever say anything. He would have probably killed me. On the other hand, he never had his clothes on for long… if you know what I mean. 😉
So Renee after all that who will be the winner this year? I really got a chuckle reading your blog.
Mom! You chuckled while reading about how I was almost KILLED in a laundromat?! Seriously. Where is the love? 😉
I learned early in life never to mess with the menfolk and their foozball. My brother is a dedicated niners fan.
That didn’t stop me from dressing his 3 year old in Giants apparel and teaching her how to chant my team’s name. ;0)
So there are 9ers and 49ers? And they aren’t even the same team? I think prefer foosball to “fool’s ball” which is how I refer to the game these days. Seriously, I don’t get the appeal. Maybe it’s because I don’t drink beer. DO you think there is a correlation?
I am SO not a sports person, but I loved this post. Your power knows no bounds.
I doubt anyone will be looking here to find their daily sports news updates. I have to confess, I love you even more — knowing you are a kindred spirit when it comes to this football aversion.
you should try Texas you want ever to see neanderthal behavior during football season. We put high school games on television.
I do not attend Superbowl parties. I once made the mistake of having an opinion about a player, he was an idiot. I was booed ‘whatever’. I use to love the Cowboys, until Jerry Jones bought them and fired Tom Landry in a very public and humiliating manner. Now, blah.
Yes, it is my understanding that Texans take their football seriously. Something tells me I couldn’t make it there in Texas. I don’t own a gun and I don’t like football… but, oh, I do love the boots. And you can always count on me to be in the mood for some rare meat. But football? Yawnsville.
As I’m in the UK, and am not even a football fan of the football that’s played here, I don’t even know when the Superbowl’s on, let alone what the heck it’s about!
That said, I have watched football ‘willingly’ a few times. Each time when I’ve had the misfortune to be in hospital. Somehow I used to find football ‘comforting’…. I mean, how weird is that?! 😉
The sound that you find soothing drives me nuts! For some reason, I HATE the sound of that background cheering from the crowd. Drives me bonkers. I could totally live in the UK and never attend to a Superbowl party ever again. 😉
It wasn’t the sound (and I only found it ‘soothing’ when I was ill a couple of times – and I was younger then!) – but maybe the movement?
If you lived in the UK you’d have to find a home nowhere near a stadium. I lived near a football stadium for too many years and detested it.
Funny story Renee. Always tickled by the oblivious (but cute) non-fan-women who open their mouth and spout their wealth of knowledge of the “game”, which causes me MORE laughing! 😉 Being American and then Texan atop that, I had no choice as a boy NOT to be a sports fan and then actual athlete. In Texas you are almost considered “gay” (no derogatory intent in the least please) if you don’t play or play with Neanderthal rage. As I’ve matured into my retirement from semi and pro soccer, I’ve come to greatly appreciate those sports icons (former pro players included) that keep all the “hype” in proper perspective: it is entertainment for the fans; nothing more. But often one could NEVER tell the fans that. Weird. It’s as if they’ve turned their vicarious lives into reality,..THEIR reality. In my professional days on other continents I was utterly befuddled by the insane comments and “requests” I would receive! But also to be fair, there are a LOT of incredible fans who show passionately (but properly) their appreciation of the game too.
Good thing you didn’t mistakenly say “Go Patriots! Knock ’em on their ass!”, huh?
Oh Professor Taboo:
Oh would never attempt to sound intelligent when it comes to football. Back in high school, I was a cheerleader and I started the cheer “Block that kick!”– when our team was kicking. That was bad. But I rocked the skirt, so I got away with it.
I don’t even try to understand all the wacky nuances of the game. I do know players need to advance 10 yards in order to make a 1st down. But I learned that from a handheld video game that I had a zillion years ago. 😉
The Patriots are the guys who put the cheese on their heads, right? Wait. That can’t be right. Or can it?
LOL! Stop Renee! I think you may be kidding, but just say it’s what goes on bread! 😉
I actually wasn’t kidding. I realized the “Cheeseheads” came from Wisconsin a little later in the thread. Ooops. See? I had no business being in that laundromat. None whatsoever!
OMG you’re hilarious! Ironically, you’d be the exact hottie though I’d want to talk to the most during the Super Bowl….for my own maniacal entertainment and muse. 😉
I would be there for you. You know, if my husband wasn’t in the other room. 😉
Oh, I’d just admit that I was gay. 😉 Seriously, I was just referencing YOUR self-impressions throughout your blog and Twitter page, not intending to be disrespectful to you OR your husband. It would all be in goofy fun anyways.
This comment space wasn’t here a few minutes ago when I looked … honest!
Hahahaha! It’s here now. 😉
Wait a minute…aren’t you the girl behind me in the bleachers who said “I hope he misses” when Billy Harris was going for the game-winning free throw for the Class C Michigan State high school championship in 1977???? I THOUGHT you looked familiar!
I will accept full responsibility for that Class C loss. I might as well. I never liked that Billy Harris.
Is there someone you’d like for me to root for this year. Because they will undoubtedly lose. Also, I am good with curses. Let me know. 😉
I know, right? He was a babe, but he dumped my sister so he deserved what he got.
I’m not much of a sports-lover either, so I don’t care who you jinx. Just let me know so I can put money on that game.
I don’t think there’s much in the world that rivals sports superstition. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that they believed you had something to do with it.
One of my great failings as a guy has always been that watching sports bores the crap out of me. I can’t even pretend. I like watching sports if it’s, say, a neighborhood game and it’s just a bunch of people – but pro? Yeesh. All the teams I support are basically for lame, nerdy political reasons (e.g. Green Bay Packers. Why? Because they’re community-owned, instead of by some billionaire.)
The Packers! They are the guys who wear the cheese on their heads, right? See, I have learned something during my years in New Orleans. And yes, I am sure that those guys thought I did something to up-end the state of affairs in the universe. Apparently, you are NEVER supposed to get up and walk in front of the television. Who knew? Um, I know now. WHen you are a stranger in a strange land, it’s good to now the rules.
Your wife is so lucky that sports bore you. And it’s not like you have some other hobby that drains all your time or anything… 😉
Since the only way to get a guy to listen to you during a football game is to stand right in front of the screen, it’s a shame that was the only thing you uttered at ground zero, LOL. Good thing all you lost was your laundry.
As an only child who (still) adores her dad, I did my fair share of ball-throwing/shooting/rolling, and sports-watching. Never could get into baseball, though (to my hubby’s dismay). Too slow.
But I love football…without the burping/farting thing. That’s kept to a minimum in our house (even with 3 sons, you gotta draw the line somewhere). I like to watch the game on a fall Sunday afternoon with a fire in the fireplace, a glass of white wine, and knitting in my lap. A bit untraditional, I suppose… 😉
As far as the SuperBowl, I don’t have a dog in this particular hunt, but I’m looking forward to the game!
Hi Kathy! So there are dogs in the Super Bowl now? Because there weren’t back when i used to watch those games. Wow, that would make everything so much more interesting. *smirk*
I’m also guessing the beer helps. Maybe that is my problem. You think? I like that you guys start a fire. That sounds excellent and very cozy. Maybe we can tweet during the Big Game. Ohm who am I kidding? I’ll probably go to the grocery store. They’re deserted during the Bowl. 😉
Oh my gosh, priceless..and terrifying! I am notoriously clueless when it comes to remembering major sporting events. It most likely stems from growing up in a household where every sport ever was watched. Even golf. Forgetting the big events is my little rebellion.
Despite my professed apathy, I do enjoy watching a good game. This year the Ravens are in the SuperBowl (right, aren’t they? They are, I think. I don’t know), and since I live in Baltimore, there will be a lot of team spirit, which is fun, sometimes. But personally, I really don’t care. And I have my own washer/dryer, so my lack of caring will not put me in danger.
What did you do about underwear for the rest of the week?
The Raven’s are in and –Rivki — Hubby and Tech will be flying into Baltimore and out on Sunday night, after Tech fences in the Capitol Clash in DC. I imagine it might be a little crazy in those parts.
You asked the question I was sure someone would eventually ask? About what I did for underwear? I had to go out and buy about ten new undies. And I can tell you, they weren’t from VS. They were from a mall on Niagara Falls Blvd. I had to get new towels, too. And for a grad student with no income, well… let’s just say, these were not the fanciest towels I’ve ever owned.
I’m a loyal Broncos fan, and have taken my share of big-game losses. They hurt. But they don’t “kill a pretty woman doing her laundry” hurt.
Bills fans are dense. Do they not realize they haven’t won a Super Bowl since they destroyed your panties?
I think it’s called the curse of Renee’s Panties, actually. And it’s real.
To be fair, only the fans in the Eggert laundromat knew about the events that transpired. But by messing with my undies, they probably did tip the balance of things. Seriously, you can’t mess with a woman’s stash of thongs and not pay for it. Hell hath no fury than a woman whose fancy undergarments have been destroyed. If I have my way, the Bills will never make it to another Bowl.
Do you know how much hate mail I’m going to get now? 😉
A true Bills fan knows his team is cursed by default. Jesus hates the Bills. Your panties were just the icing on the cake. Figuratively.
Not a football fan. In fact, two years ago I talked both my boys into quitting tackle football in favor of taking up golf (it wasn’t hard – they spent most of their time on the bench in football whereas they are actually pretty good at golf. The 11-year old is working on solidifying his 5 handicap. Plus, they still get to fart, burp, and swear all they want. They just don’t have to do any of that while worrying about ending up at the bottom of 500 lbs of boys.) that said, I do like a good Superbowl party. You know, the kind that features amazing food like Brie and antipasti and white chili. And gambling. I only pay attention when there’s money at stake. This year, though, my friend and I will be visiting my daughter in Chicago, hopefully enjoying some amazing dim sum in Chinatown. OF COURSE you can join us! The weather MIGHT be better there than in NY (but I doubt it….)
See? The gambling aspect doesn’t even do it for me. *shrugs* Someone once joked that I have no vices: I don’t drink alcohol or smoke or gamble or get into porn. But the promise of good friends and yummy food is a draw. 😉 Have a great time at your Bowl gathering, Dawn!
Your post is very funny! I grew up in Buffalo. Either love football or die. Every sunday dad had it on the tv, then every sunday with friends. lots of beer and chicken wings. good times. I admitt I missed a lot of the details of the game gabbing with the gals in the kitchen, but overall good times. glad the laundy matt dudes did not work you over. sounds like you got out just in time. sorry you lost your clothes! Hope your favorite jeans were not in the wash at the time.
No jeans were lost. Only underwear. And towels. The “white” load. I can imagine that if you grew up in Buffalo, there are lots of positive associations with those Sunday games. As an outsider, I could never quite get into it. It was like trying to understand a cult — and Buffalonians weren’t always particularly welcoming. Like they didn’t like it when people talked during the game. Can you imagine? Me? Silent except during commercials? Gah!
Mr. Wonderful and I shopped for baby furniture during the Super Bowl in 1992, because everything was on sale (Why is that?) and the stores were empty. But, he has since become one of the faithful. Sigh. I usually get out of going to a party since it’s a school night and go to bed during the third quarter while he yells at the TV.
But if — I mean when — the Saints play in the Big Game again, I’ll be all in. Because it’s all we talked about for months in 2010, and I wouldn’t want to be left out.
I have to say, when we lived in NOLA we lived above a guy named Pig Goff. He was a Saint. Only I didn’t know that. I just thought he was a daddy of two cute kids who drove a seriously souped-up ride. The rims were gold and shiny all the time. Nicest guy. When I found out he was a player, that was the first time I actually got excited about the game. Like even remotely. Of course, back then… there was no chance they were going to a Bowl. They were just starting out. 😉 Like anything else in NOLA< if the Saints made it to the Superbowl, it would be one helluva celebration.
Wow! I’m comment number 109? I need to come up there and let you teach me how to do that. However, you’re wrong about the reason here. Your Bills lost because Jerry Jones hadn’t learned how to ruin a good football team yet.
It was Marv Levy back then. Who is Jerry Jones? 😉
He bought the Dallas Cowboys and has turned them into the Dallas Cowgirls for the last 17 years.
Hahahahaha! My husband told me who he was last night at dinner. Sorry for my ignorance. I wish I could say I feel your pain. I do know the cheerleaders are pretty smokin’. Maybe their trainer could do something with the Boys? LOL!
I must have gotten a phone call and didn’t comment!
I am a football fan, but only for my own teams. I could care less about the Super Bowl unless the Packers or the Broncos are playing. I will be on the edge of my seat during the halftime show and for every commercial.
I went to a play-off game long ago when the Broncos lost. Oh man. We didn’t stay for the last quarter….. It can get ugly!
You aren’t whistling DIxie. Bills fans are maniacs. Seriously. If I hadn’t written this post, I wouldn’t have known who was playing this year. 😉
I have had to work during the Super Bowl before, but never laundry. But, I am a football fan. Superstitions are rampant in sport – yet it was Charlie NO-good who missed the field goal! I went to Super Bowl party once, never again. Missed the game, was so dissappointed. This year, staying home to watch the game and we’ve told the kids homework is done on Saturday!
Well, there you have it. I know not to bother you during the big game. 😉 Enjoy your weekend. You’d better get all your homework done, too, Mr. Watkins! 😉
really wanted to write, but was tired it was a VERY BUSY Week! Thanks!
Fabulous story, Renee! I’m not into football myself. Say, by chance were you in Italy about 7 years ago, when they won the World Cup? I was there then–now THAT was fun!
this is so funny; i’m originally from buffalo; i moved to the DC area when i was 13. so i was a transplanted bills fan. people always ask me, “who’s your favorite team?” and i say, “the one that’s playing in front of me at a stadium.” i grew up at rich stadium in the corporate box my dad’s newspaper owned. when we moved to DC, we went to a couple redskins games but it was never really the same. bills fans are hearty and unlike any other (i know, we all say that), so after a while, the game lost its appeal, and then i became a mother and i was leery of the violence in the game.
one of those years when the bills went back to the super bowl, when i was dating my now husband, a DC native, they played the redskins (i think that was their second time against DC in the super bowl) and of course we watched the game together at my house.
scott norwood is a DC-area native as well, or at least during his HS years he was; his parents house, which was about 10 miles from mine, had security guards stationed around it because norwood blew it during the games. as a buffalo transplant, i was embarrassed; sports fans don’t know how to behave themselves.
all of this said, scotty blew it. you had nothing to do with it. it’s time you let the guilt go… 😉
Best comment ever! Hi Molly! I didn’t know you were originally from Buffalo. Do you remember where you lived? What suburb? Or what part of the city? Weird that you wound up close to Scotty’s house. I’m not surprised to hear the Bills’ fans were crazy and the Norwoods required security around their house. Things were pretty intense back then.
I don’t really feel guilty as I know I didn’t do anything.
But it’s hard to forget the story since the Superbowl comes around each year! 😉 Thanks for stopping by!
in buffalo, i grew up on “The West Side”; sort of a gritty place with older homes. my house was fantastic; it faced lake erie and we could see canada from my front porch — EAT THAT, SARAH PALIN! — but the ‘hood was degrading as we neared our time to leave the city. i loved the city; i go back every summer for about 10 days with the boys and we always go by my old house (i wrote about it, in this post — http://mollyfielddotcom.wordpress.com/2012/06/14/re-679-busti-avenue-buffalo-ny-14213/ as sort of this ad hoc tribute to my father before father’s day. the post doesn’t do the house justice, but the memories are in my head; amazing memories.
the fans around scott’s parents’ house were HERE in the DC area — lots of buffalo transplants down here. i felt awful for them.
it was a fun post to read; i’ll be back. it’s nice to see you again. 🙂
So glad you stopped by. Off to read your post now. When I lived in Buffalo, I lived across from the VA hospital (on the crappy side of LeBrun) and then i lived across the street from the Zoo. I could hear the lions growl at night. It was sexy. And it was the best thing about living in Buffalo. 😉