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On Marriage & Changing My Name: An Unusual Anniversary Post

Romantic, right?

The woman behind the counter looked at the diamond studded watch that squashed her wrist, making it look like a fat sausage. She drummed her fat fingers against the counter top. She was in a hurry, and I was holding her up.

Though my fiancé and I had been engaged for eighteen months and I had more than ample time to think about it, talk about it, and make that decision, it wasn’t until we actually went to get our marriage license twenty-four hours before the wedding that I realized I could no longer defer reality. I had to make a choice.

I was torn.

Part of me wanted to keep my last name.

“Schuls” is the Americanized version of my grandfather’s Polish name. But it is hard to pronounce and no one ever spells it correctly on a first try. Still, it is my family name, linking me to my parents and my brother.

Anxiety prickled as I thought about my nickname?

It would be strange not to be RAS anymore.

I briefly entertained the idea that a new convention should be created where the man and the woman take a new name, perhaps join their names, and blend them in the name of holy matrimony. I proposed “SHAKE-OB-SON” and “JEWELS” to my fiancé, telling him we could go down into history like Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Henry Stanton who forever changed the institution of marriage by omitting the word ‘obey’ from their marital vows.

“We can be innovators, too!” I told him, grabbing his arm.

My fiancé laughed and called the idea ridiculous.

I pouted and wondered why I had to give up my identity.

Why I was the one who had to sacrifice, hassle with changing social security forms, medical records, credit cards, magazine subscriptions and insurance forms.

But the other part of me.

Oh.

The other part of me liked the idea of being lost in love.

Or something.

After all, I loved the guy.

I bit my lip and considered; it would be easier to spell.

The woman’s click-clacking fingers tapped faster, faster. A line had formed behind us.

I stared at her watch and felt time move too fast and too slow all at once.

Two other couples waited patiently to fill out their forms: other women had decided these things already.

“I’d like to hyphenate,” I declared.

And taking a breath, I said aloud it for the first time: “Renée Ann Schuls-Jacobson.”

Then I signed the papers, knowing that no one would ever say that whole mouthful.

It was official.

It doesn’t fit on a my driver’s license.

Or any of my credit cards.

And my students call me Mrs. Jacobson.

But, like I said, I loved the guy.

Still do.

Happy anniversary, Hubby.

Me & Hubs in 1995. Trust me: His mullet was hot.

Would you encourage your daughter to keep her own name or take the name of her spouse? If you had to do it again, would you do something different with the names thing? Or just make fun of our picture. Whatever floats your boat.

Tweet this twit @rasjacobson

102 thoughts on “On Marriage & Changing My Name: An Unusual Anniversary Post

  1. I married a non-American from a country that is dominated by testosterone poisoned men. When I said I am not changing my name he changed color, no really his skin turned a lovely shade of purple! He said, ‘if you don’t change your name, you don’t love me we can’t get married.’

    I said, ‘okay, no problem’. After all, he asked me three times and then resorted to asking my family, children included what was wrong with me when I kept saying, ‘no, don’t really want to get married again.’

    When I explained, I liked me name, why didn’t he change his name. He turned that really awesome shade of purple again (I love that color, even painted a wall that color once). He said to me, “I have had my name all my life I can’t change me name.” Perfect male logic! I laughed uproariously and replied, “Well, I have had my name all my life and I am nearly twice your age!”

    It is true, I am nineteen years older. So finally after much negotiation and to satisfy his poor abused ego I hyphenated. I rarely say the entire name. Rarely introduce myself with my entire legal name. It took me 10 years to change my passport. Most of my credit cards didn’t get changed until they expired. Names our funny things aren’t they?

    1. Hi Valentine! I was once in a relationship where that exact conversation took place. It was a hypothetical conversation, as the man was terrified of commitment. I’m glad things have worked out for both of us and our hyphenated selves.

      Still, I wouldn’t do it again.

  2. Happy anniversary!

    If I had to do it all over again, I would take his name. Only because my maiden name was always getting picked on and made fun of…however his last name is German and has a silent H so people always mispronounce it. Oh well!

    As for my daughter, I don’t think I’d encourage her either way, just whatever she decides is right for her.

  3. I hyphenated my name in 1982 only because if we had children we would all have the same name. My name is LouAnn Geauvreau-Karry–I have taken a lot of guff over the years–don’t care–it is my name. I tell the tellers at the bank to take a coffee break while I sign my name. Both of my boys carry Geauvreau as one of their middle names and if they want to hyphenate at some point I would be happy.
    I hate being called Mrs. Karry–in fact I hate being called Mrs. but that is my problem. I have been married 30 years and I do not think a name choice has anything to do with love. I understand your choice, and of course because I hyphenated, I think you made the right one.

    1. “I tell the tellers at the bank to take a coffee break while I sign my name.”

      Hahahaha! That is fabulous! Can I borrow that line? I agree name choice has nothing to do with love, but in that moment, it felt like it! It’s all worked out for us. Sounds like for you, too! I went poking about your blog to find your real name. Now I know the whole thing! Thanks for sharing your great story!

  4. I need to get my act together, stop just “liking” great blog posts and start really joining these conversations again.

    Happy anniversary kid; you two look wonderfully happy in that photo and I’m sure that the fun and love has just been growing every year. We need to sort out Skype!

    🙂

    1. We were just two crazy kids, staring at our wacky photographer!

      But you are sleeping now, over there on the other side of the world. Or getting ready to, right? One of my friends is planning to marry a man from New Zealand and she said figuring out Skype time is the most frustrating thing EVER. We’ll figure it out. 😉

  5. I remember standing there (the first time) the same way, debating what to do. I knew things about my family – Deep South, ‘sugar’ and ‘honey’ to your face, pit vipers behind your back – and something was niggling in my brain that it wouldn’t be wise to discard my maiden name. I compromised and changed my middle name to my maiden name and took my husband’s last name. That bit of foresight saved me a lot of trouble with the vipers twelve years down the road when my grandfather passed away. When I remarried, I thought about taking back my given middle name, but in the end opted for the same deal. Just in case.

    I don’t know if I actually miss my middle name, but I haven’t seen it on any documents of any kind since 1989, much less written it out by hand, so I had to give it a shot and type it out here – and then I erased it. It feels like someone else.

    My daughter’s middle name is my grandmother’s middle name, one of a few names passed down through many generations of my family. (Maybe if my own had been one of those names, it would’ve been harder to discard? I don’t know. Maybe.) I hope she doesn’t find a need to do what I did, but because of what I did, I would certainly understand if she had to make changes that best suited her situation.

    1. Astrea! So interesting! Perhaps MOST interesting is that you typed it out and “It feels like someone else.” Names are weird like that, right? They define us for a time, but you can outgrow them. I’m glad you feel good about the decisions you have made along the way.

  6. I think if I had it to do over again, I’d hyphenate my name as well, and I’d encourage my daughters to do the same.
    I would still be Mrs. Hawkins to my students (Galovski is a difficult name as well), but I would have liked to keep my family name.
    Good choice!

    1. I’m glad I kept my name.

      I wonder if it would have been a “deal-breaker” if I’d made a fuss.

      Knowing Hubs, I don’t think so.

      But.

      I think he’s glad our son carries his name.

      Frankly, I am too. Weird, the conventions we can throw to the wind and the conventions we care to keep.

  7. Great post, Renee! And on a personal level, very timely. Today is our anniversary, too! 23 years ago, hubster and I tied the knot. I also agonized over the name change, and decided to take hubby’s name and keep my birth name as my middle name. Even though both are short, when I was growing up, my birth name (Belin) was always misspelled when it was heard, or mispronounced when it was read. But “Owen” – easy-peasy, right? Hahaha, not so fast! I get “Owens” a lot. Sigh.

    Happy anniversary! Enjoy!

  8. It didn’t come up for us, in 91, though she still has a credit card in her last name. A year after we married one of her older sisters divorced and changed her name back to her maiden name. I remember the hassle she had getting all of the documents and identity changed. I don’t know what she would do, if she had to do it all over again – maybe stick with her old name, maybe not. But as for O, she’s fiercely independent and I think the guy will have to take her name. Happy Anniversary, and many more!

    1. I can’t even imagine divorcing and then having to change all those documents. I have a sinking feeling just thinking about it. I’d probably just pretend-change my name. You know, have everyone call me one thing but secretly I’d still be a hyphenate. Or something. While I am very proactive in certain areas, in others? Not so much!

      O sounds fabulous! I hope somebody DOES take her name! That would be cool!

  9. Wow, what a beautiful wedding pic! Had fun reading this post. You’re right. It is an unusual anniv post but I love it. I think I’ll take on my husband’s name. No hyphens…On second thought maybe I’ll hyphenate it. hahaha! Happy Anniversary, Mrs Jacobson! 😉

  10. I had to comment here because I know EXACTLY how you felt making that decision! When we got married my husband said, “Why wouldn’t you take my last name?” while my dad asked, “Is it necessary to discard your family name?” It really was (and still is) a dilemma for many reasons. At the time (1991) I tried to hyphenate but the powers-that-be (i.e., social security office) informed me it was too long. Since my middle name was initially intended to be part of my first name (the nurses screwed it up on my birth certificate), I was loathe to discard it. I was equally hesitant to discard my maiden name since it was often used as my nickname – even by my husband. What to do, what to do? I finally decided, in the interest of my future children, to take on my husband’s name. Strangely enough, once our daughter was born, my husband told me he never wants her to change her name. Which, of course, I quickly pointed out is exactly what he asked me to do when we got married. So, I un-officially changed my name to Dawn Hobbie Sticklen, which seems to make everyone happy (although it leaves my middle name out). I just haven’t taken the leap to change the name on all my official identification documents. This latter is mostly because I’m lazy, of course.

    Happy anniversary to you – and I love the happiness that emanates from your picture!

    1. You were a Hobbie? Like something someone does for pleasure? Or a Hobie like the sailboat that people can take for a ride? Hahaha! No matter how you pronounced it, you were a good time, Dawn. And I am so glad to know you struggled over this, too.

      The hyphenate or not to hyphenate: that is the question!

      1. Yep, Hobbie. Like something you do for fun. Or hobby horse. Or Holly Hobbie. And usually people just called me Hobster, or Hobbs, or just Dawn Hobbie. Because apparently one syllable names are boring. And of course I’m still a laugh-a-minute! :-). Now, if only I could figure out how on earth to get this many comments on my posts over at my blog….

  11. Congratulations! You and the mulletman look fabulous!
    My daughter has a mind of her own and from what I have heard from her comments about her boyfriend’s last name, would take his.

  12. Happy Anniversary. I was adamantly NOT changing my name. But then I started to feel like there was a part of me I wasn’t giving to him and to the marriage. I changed it, secretly, as a gift to him for our 2nd anniversary. But I still write under my maiden name, and I’m in the program at work that way too.

  13. Happy Anniversary! *decides against smooshing cake into your faces* 😉

    Ooo, yes, the guys who want you to change your name but then say changing theirs would be “crazy talk”? *rolls eyes* Sometimes men don’t know how lucky they are that we love them anyway. LOL!

    That said, I do think it’s easier for parents to have the same last name as their kids, but it’s up to the parents–as a couple–to decide how to make that happen. I have seen some couples do the both-changing-their-name-to-a-common-one thing, so it’s not as crazy as all that. 🙂

    1. Changing names to take a common one was considered crazy talk in 1994. But everyone seemed to just be still when I said the word HYPHEN.

      Whatever.

      Hubs calls me Hools. As in Hools Schuls. (Because it rhymes.)

      So basically he reminds me everyday that I’ll answer to anything. 😉

  14. In Portugal, we have no problem with long names. I already have four of them. In fact, it’s customary for the child to get a first name, often a middle name (because how else to you distinguish all those Ana’s and Maria’s?) and then the mother’s maiden surname is added and the father’s surname comes last.

    When I got engaged…*gasp* 20!!! years ago…I knew I didn’t want to change my name, but still assumed that I had to follow some sort of tradition. The hyphenated name would sound terrible, though: Rodrigues-Hunter. The fiance wanted some sort of inclusion of his name. I didn’t know what to do.

    So I broke the engagement and gave back the ring.

    Okay, the name issue wasn’t really the only reason, but to be honest, it was part of it. His whole attitude about the name was similar to his attitude about other things, all of which made me feel like I was going to have to change who I was just to be married. That didn’t sit well with me and I realized that he was not the right man.

    When I do get married, I will not change my name. It’s not even a question anymore. My name is mine and I’m not giving it up. I feel I should follow traditions that resonate with me, that give me a reason to agree that it’s a proper course of action. I have no desire to follow tradition for its own sake. Changing my name for marriage just doesn’t make sense to me. And that’s not a judgement on other people who do change their names. This is just what makes sense for me; it’s not a pronouncement on what other people should do.

    And my boyfriend has no problem with it. Once again, this is indicative of the rest of our relationship: “Just be yourself,” he says, “why would I want you to be someone else?” Yeah, he’s the one 🙂

    1. Hi Leonore!

      I don’t think names have anything to do with love either.

      I was in a situation earlier in my life much like the one you described. It never got to the ring stage, but I could tell that if he was so obstinate about something like that…well, we were probably in trouble.

      Sounds like you have a great boyfriend now. I assume he likes cats, yes?
      😉

      1. And I’m definitely not ever changing my name to Lenore, either! 😉

        Yup, he likes (and has) cats, and he likes turtles even more. He’s definitely a keeper. Probably one of the only people in the world who really gets me.

  15. When I got engaged, my very modern friend who hadn’t changed her name asked me if I was going to change mine. When I replied that I was, she asked me what his last name was. When I told her there was a long pause… then she said “You must really love him.”

    I use my maiden name as my middle name, and son #2 has it for his middle name as well. I think it bonds us as a family to all have the same name. That’s what works for us!

  16. Happy Anniversary. I’m trying to figure this out, as I am remarrying in the next month. (though I’ve been using the name for a year already… branding 😉

    Because I have children, it seems to make more sense on some level. But I’m not longer that. So, really, it makes no sense at all.

    My maiden name was (I thought) too long to take as my middle name. I miss it now.

    1. KPA.

      Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. Don’t think too much about this. Honestly, names don’t have anything to do with love. Just go find that girl with the clicky fingernails. She’ll make you decide on the spot! 😉

  17. Happy anniversary, my friend.
    We are right behind you celebrating our 16th on the 17th.

    I loved my maiden name (Christianson) so I’m glad that my married name was one I thought (and still think) is decent. I must admit I would have had a hard time marrying someone with a really ugly last name.

    But the best name-changing story comes from my sister’s friend whose parents named her Truly because their last name was Gold – and they thought “Truly Gold” was adorable (I think that’s debatable).

    Anyway.

    She married a man whose last name is Boring. And took his name. This is NOT urban legend. My sister actually knows Truly Boring.

    The end.

    1. That is truly the best story about Truly.

      Like that could be a children’s board book!

      Seriously.

      One day I will tell you about a girl I know who was named Likma who married a guy named Vajama.

      Likma Vajama.

      I know, right?

      Why do I alwys have a dirty story to sully your lovely ironic ones?

  18. RAS-J. Great name. Jay-Z is so jealous right now. 🙂

    I think you need to come up with a Rap/R&B mix…it can be your theme song. Just don’t tell your students.

          1. Okay, you have to sit through my explanation as to WHY I was wearing a puffy coat in November… but it’s at the end. My then 11-year old son made it for me! I keep forgetting to put it on the end of videos. 😉

          2. Sorry you were underwhelmed. 😉 I couldn’t do anything without my kid. He was 11 when he figured this stuff out. Maybe it’s time for something with more shazzam! Plus, he has way more mad skills now that he’s almost 13.

  19. Love this! I was not going to change my name. Was NOT going to do it. I loved my name. it was the essence of me. So I didn’t change it. We got married and I had no intention of taking my husband’s name. But somehow, in the course of the first year of marriage, I decided, for various reasons, to change it. That was my one year anniversary present to my hubs. Now that we have a little boy I am so glad that I did. It makes filling out all of those school forms so much easier!

  20. A lovely photo indeed, and congrats on your anniversary! Our baby got married yesterday, and we love the groom — truly, he’s like another kid of ours (so much so, his bride has occasionally complained that we like him more than we like her!). They felt that hyphenation is too complicated for the community etc., so, they decided she’d go by her maiden name, except on uber-legal papers. I can’t explain why — haven’t gotten that far into thinking about it yet — but I am disappointed. I loved my own maiden name and I was the last of that name line (as is she, perhaps), but I loved my fiancee’s name. It was truly an honour to receive it; I do believe it was an honour to him to offer it to me. I’ve had no regrets. Of course, that was a second marriage and we are utter dinosaurs. Still, I did not miss out on women’s lib, so I am not sure where the sense of disappointment comes in, except that I know that daughter’s husband absolutely lived to marry her and would give her the moon along with his name and all his blessings forever, so maybe I am disappointed on his behalf.. OMG, maybe we DO like him better???
    😉

      1. Yep. Even if a name disappears, the history attached to it doesn’t (and not just because of the 15000 historical photographs we’ll be leaving behind one day for these techie kids –who print out photos only for gifts– to have to go through!)

  21. Awwwwwwwwww so sweet! And I love the way you wrote the post. The imagery in that first paragraph rocks!

    Happy Anniversary to you. You look so radiant in your picture. And I love the 90s-ness of it all. Fo’ realz.

    Our last name is pretty simple – Silver – so I can imagine my daughter (and potential future daughters) being faced with a potentially difficult transition to a next-to-impossible-to-pronounce last name. Then again, they could move up the alphabet to one of the coveted “beginning of the alphabet” names, like Cohen, or Abrams. That would be something to look forward to, I guess.

    Me, my maiden name was Russom. No one could say it, either, though I think it’s simple enough (Russ’-some. How is that hard?). It’s pretty culturally ambiguous, which was kind of cool, but also kind of blah. I like Silver better. It’s easy for people to process. 🙂

    1. Russom. Yeah, but you were spelling that all the time, right? I like that it almost sounds like awesome. Almost. Like it would be a slant rhyme.

      But what could be better than Silver?

      What if one of your sons marries a girl name Golda? Golda Silver? I hope we are still in touch on that day. In fact, if we are…I’d better be invited to the wedding! 😉

  22. Renee, what a cute pic! Love it!
    I’ve never had a good name. This marriage wasn’t any different. I went down the easy road and took Ed’s name. Any way you slice it, it would have been rotten 🙁 LOL!

    1. You know, it kind of works because it LOOKS like “goulash” — and I know you love to bake. Except you don’t bake goulash. It’s kind of more of a stew thing. Still, it’s a food motif. But it isn’t pronounced that way, so I don’t really know where I’m going with this. I’m just glad you are happy. 😉

  23. Happy anniversary!

    I felt the same way and had the same interior dialogue. Because of the (future) children and the length of space on forms, I changed my middle name to my last name and took his as my last. It’s rare that anyone sees that middle name – I just use the initial – but I know it’s there, and it’s kind of comforting to keep that piece of me.

  24. I am just starting to write a bit about my marriage – ex-marriage – and so I re-visited the name game thing two days ago. I did not take my husband’s name, at the last minute, standing at that counter just like you were. I could not bring myself to give up what I felt was my identity. I think, when I’m truly honest, that I knew he was the wrong man. I loved him, and I wanted the marriage, and I didn’t think at that time that it would end in divorce. But there was a part of me that would NOT give itself up wholly. Not to him.

    Of course, I’m not at all implying that this is why others might keep or hyphenate their names – it”s just my experience. The thing is, I love my name – it feels like home to me. But (ten years later), I also think that I would take the right man’s name. Not give up my own name and perceived identity, but add to it – expand upon who I already am.

    I think I would be a four name person, though, instead of a hyphen.

  25. We don’t have a tradition in the UK of keeping our maiden (unmarried) names and adding them to the married one, and even if we had, I wouldn’t have done that. That name was only a tiny, tiny part of who I was (and still am). I think of all the ancestors I had – some I know of, many I don’t, and there were so many names I don’t know and never will know – all of them lost and forgotten. So I reckon – why hang on to just one.

    Besides which, I love the guy I married and am happy to have this name, too.

    1. Hi Val! Definitely a carryover from the first wave of American feminism. Or was it the second wave? No, first. I can’t remember. Either way, everyone is very interested in names these days.

      But who are you kidding? You Brits have all those long, cool titles. I’d like to be Renée, Duchess of Brown Leather Couchshire and Bloggerville. Can that be arranged? 😉

  26. Hi Renee. Bumble here. Oh, your wedding photo is so sweet. Really. Thanks for sharing 🙂 I think the last name changing is really a personal preference, and I respect it either way. I’ve always been a traditionalist I guess. Ho hum yawn. But I wonder how much the actual name goes into making this decision. In my case, I preferred my husband’s name to mine. I have a divorced friend who is changing back to her maiden name and then wants to change her son’s to her maiden name as well. I don’t know if she will be able to do that. But I guess anything is possible with consent. Happy Anniversary!

    1. Hi Bumble Bumble! I think whatever people pick is fine. I just can’t believe we had never had the discussion before we got to the front of the line. Can you imagine? It explains some of the arguments we have now. They are always a result of poor communication!

      I can’t imagine ever changing my name again. I’m so lazy! And it was such a production! 😉

  27. Beautiful post, Renee. Happy anniversary! I hope you had a fantastic celebration.

    I think it’s important for women to do what they feel most comfortable and enthused about doing. I happened to like my hubby’s last name, and had a reputation in another industry with my very common maiden name of Johnson…so I made that my middle name.

    PS You’re almost as stunning then as you are now.

    1. Like you said, I think whatever name(s) people pick is/are fine. I just can’t believe we had never had the discussion before we got to the front of the line.

      If by stunning you mean I had a good dress, I’ll buy that. But why did I do my own hair? Wait til you see the pix from the bar mitzvah on the 20th! It’s the last post. Seriously!

  28. Happy Anniversary!

    It’s all about whether the name works and which you want. A friend of mine and her husband both hyphenate their combined last names. Schuls-Jacobson is not bad. I decided I wanted the uniqueness of my husband’s last name, but admittedly going from easy breezy to “Huh? Can you spell that again?” was a BIG change. The only thing that would have been harder would have been to hyphenate both (and have a six syllable last name). Ugh.

    (And if you’re not already counting down the days, Saturday marks the ratification of the 19th amendment…)

    1. L&L! I was originally going to post this on Saturday, but as it turns out, I’ll be out of the country — unable to comment. So, I cut a whole chunk out about the 19th Amendment! Well played! I like you so much for knowing your history! Or HERstory as the case may be. 😉

  29. Look at all these comments! No surprise it’s a great story. Love the picture!!!!!

    I ditched my maiden name so fast. Always found it so clunky–Sackheim. Badzin fits, doesn’t it?

  30. I’m glad you kept your name. In this day and time…why give it up. I’ve got several hypenated friends. No one thinks anything about it. I bet your students would switch in a minute…well at least a couple of semesters. And Happy Anniversary.

    1. Oh heavens no! Who would ever call me Mrs. Schuls-Jacobson? That would eat up half my class time right there! No. I’m legally hyphenated, but people can easily find me for high school reunions and whatnot.

      And I’ve essentially become my mother-in-law and my mother. So…

  31. I was “Mary Emily Smith” until I got married which meant the first day of school always started with role and “Mary Smith?” then every year some kid said “is your husband John here?” I happily officially ditched it for a name that no one ever pronounces right and I didn`t spell correctly until I had to – I had to hang on to it professionally because I was so old when I got married. In the end, whatever makes you feel good. Are you drinking embalming fluid? You look just as good now as you did then!

  32. What an AWESOME time of year to get married. You were such a stinkin’ cute bride! Happy (belated) anniversary! What an exciting time of year this is for the Schuls-Jacobson clan.

    It’s hard for me to think of you by any OTHER name. I was always eager to shed my maiden name (Schnedeker! Oh yeah. Imagine hyphenating THAT with Davidoski!), but it took me a long time to adjust to the new one. Now I really feel like Julie Davidoski, so much so that even when I marry Second Husband I might keep it.

  33. Nearly a year ago to the date of your 8.12.12 “name post,” on August 13, 2011, I wrote about names on my blog,The Last Leaf Gardener. However, my narrative was in relation to what grows in my urban (NYC) garden. This year, on August 13, 2011, I posted a follow up to my “name post,” and now I’ve stumbled upon yours! I wonder why are clerks in offices often depicted as having fat fingers? But that’s not the reason I’m posting a comment. I’m posting a comment to let you know I enjoyed your post. AND, if I want to see the shade of purple you describe, I’ll be sure to ask the things I grow, how they would feel if they had to change their name if they entered into marriage (-;

    Hope you’ll come check out The Last Leaf Gardener’s post @ http://www.thelastleafgardener.com/2012/08/one-year-later-whatever-happened-to-my.html

  34. I asked for three good reasons as to why I should change my name. I asked my hubby, friends, family, I may have asked you.. I did not hear three good reasons so I am and always will be “Ms Eck. “. When I don’t want anyone to know me, I use his name. And, happy anniversary, it was so nice to spend mine with you today and your shortly-after anniversary. I think we should celebrate together every year, have brunch and buy shoes!

  35. It’s all about alphabetical order for me. My maiden name began with a W, making me always at the end of the list and in the back row. Now, I’m a C and I don’t have to deal with any of those pesky D through Z folks!!
    My daughter is getting married next June to an A, and she’s already scanned her med school class list and determined that unless someone marries a more alphabetically superior A, she’ll be the first one to receive her diploma at graduation. Who doesn’t love being first?! 🙂

    PS- You were a gorgeous bride!
    PSS- Your hubs really rocked that mullet!

  36. Gorgeous wedding photo.
    I haven’t got to the marrying part so technically haven’t had to make that decision yet. However we decided that our son should take his last name with the idea that I will take his name when we finally get around to getting married, so that we will all have the same last name. Though it means at the moment I have a different last name and feel a little weird everytime I have to write both our names down together (its amazing how many forms I need to fill out for him that require both our full names).
    Might keep my last name as a middle name though.

  37. What a sweet story! I gladly changed my name. My maiden name was hard to spell and even harder to pronounce. My hubs’ name is simple and eBay. And with a first name like Misty, I needed simple and easy. And it fits on my license! 😉

      1. Ha! That’s what I get for using my iPad and not reading what I wrote before hitting post. Ebay = easy, btw.

        Then again, how cool would that be if I WAS married to Mr. Ebay. I would be Misty Ebay. I kinda like it. And I wouldn’t have to ever worry about paying the bills, that’s for sure.

        Hmmm, wonder if the Ebay family has any single sons. I’m sure the hubs would support this endeavor. I would cut him in on the profits, er I mean, the inheritance. Oops. Love! I meant love and cherish, in richer and poorer. And richer. A lot richer.

        This one got away from me. Sorry. 😉

  38. So pleased that I was not the only one who struggled with the whole name-change thing. The night before my wedding, I said to my dad, “This is the last night I’ll be Liz Schillings!” and then promptly freaked-out, in my head.

    I didn’t change my name until four days until my second child was born, as it turned out. And I only did so because my husband begged me to – when our first son was born, we had to plead with the hospital nurses to put “McLennan” on the paperwork instead of “Schillings” because babies are given their mother’s name or something.

    I dragged my feet for another two years, through 9 months of pregnancy…and then just went ahead and changed it. I like that we all have the same last name, but have decided that should I ever publish a book, I’ll use my maiden name. Guess I’d best get writing…

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