because life doesn’t fit in a file folder
Posted on

MY RECENT COVID-19 DYSTOPIAN DREAM

COVID DREAM
While I don’t usually share my darker paintings, I have many. This one was painted after my most recent bad dream. It’s not for sale. If you’re interested in transforming your dreams into art, email me and we can talk about doing a ZOOM art class together.

From the moment lifestyle restrictions were deemed necessary in an attempt to “flatten” the infection curve associated with the COVID-19 virus, many people began reporting experiencing dystopian dreams.

I have suffered from nightmares for decades, and it is not unusual for me to awake in the middle of the night terrified.

I’m sharing a most recent dystopian nightmare here to maintain a record of what I’ve been dreaming about, and also as a way to encourage others to share their own scary dreams so that we can process them together.

In my dream:

I’m on the way to the Home Depot, to pick up a few small items — some wood trim and a big box of air filters for my furnace.

The parking lot is completely full, so I follow a red truck all the way to the back where there is one empty spot adjacent to a big, open field.

I mean to park alongside the field on the pavement, but I accidentally hit the gas and end up rolling onto the field.

But the field isn’t a field.

It’s a muddy bog — and my car immediately begins to sink.

In a moment, cold, heavy mud pours in from atop my open sunroof, burying me.

It’s dark and I can’t move or breathe.

I think of my parents and my son — and realize no one will even find me, lost in the bottom of this muddy bog.

 • • •

I wake, gasping for air, and unintentionally call out the name of someone who used to hold me when I had nightmares.

But he’s not here.

Where I used to turn to a partner for emotional support, now that I alive alone, I’ve had to learn strategies to calm myself after a night terror.

So I wrap my arms around myself and allow myself to feel the feelings: the fear, the sadness, the surrender, and finally the gratitude.

I am alive.

I am safe.

I’m doing the best I can do.

While many people believe dreams are meaningless, I know dreams are powerful medicine, evidence of the night mind trying to make sense of what the conscious mind cannot understand during the waking hours.

There is so much confusion right now.

So much change and so few answers.

So many conspiracy theories and so much cognitive dissonance

We’re being told this is our “new normal” and learning how to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

What kinds of weird dreams are YOU having during this pandemic?

 

5 thoughts on “MY RECENT COVID-19 DYSTOPIAN DREAM

  1. Multiple Eyes looking at me. Sad, scared eyes. One eye appears in the middle, bright red. Ominous. Takes my breath away

  2. I already drew it. It took me awhile because it freaked me out

    1. I would love to see it. Sounds fascinating.

  3. Last night, I dreamed I was sitting in my backyard, which was now oceanside (nice), but packed with people (irritating), when a group plopped down right next to me (UNSAFE). “You need to social distance!” I said, probably spitting and without a mask. There seems to be no relief from COVID-19.

  4. Renee – love the phrase – So many conspiracy theories and so much cognitive dissonance. That encapsulates everything I feel about this crisis and our government’s response. It has created a great deal of mistrust and I don’t believe anything I hear from the media, so I stopped listening and started paying attention to nature and holding those near me close. When the birds sing, it’s time to listen. I’ve been cooking at home – some good, some not so. I don’t miss going to dinner or ordering out. There is something comforting about a roast chicken with brown rice and pan gravy. Take care, stay well and positive. Peace.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *